It’s happening again

[Newmum83]

I can’t help it guys. I know I have to eat. And my anxiety won’t let me . My fear is getting to me , and I’m just down about it . I made me a salad and instantly started to freak out about it . Head started to have lol aches , feel like I can’t breathe . But I haven’t eaten all day . And I’m breastpumping so I need nourishment . But after the baby , I’m afraid of everything . Eating and drinking certain things , taking medications . Walking to much , I have so much anxiety it’s crazy .

[EleanorRose]

For completely different reasons to you, I am sure, I stopped eating about a fortnight ago. I’m not going to tell you why because my fear was completely irrational and I don’t want to put further thoughts into your head.

I really, really didn’t want to eat. It filled me with total fear, I felt like my throat was closing up if I put anything even close to my mouth. I ended up feeling really unwell.

You MUST eat. Anxiety is telling you that you can’t, but you can and you need to. I found it easier to eat if other people were around. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy but you need to eat something. You probably won’t like it to begin with, I didn’t, and it did increase my anxiety but I’ve reached a point now of being able to eat with much reduced fear. But the only way I managed that was by eating when I didn’t want to. Eat your salad and feel proud of yourself. It so hard when anxiety tells us we can’t but sometimes we have to fight against it when we know what the anxiety tells us is harmful.

[Newmum83 in reply to EleanorRose]

It sucks , cause yes it feels like I can’t breathe and my family is like trying to reassure I will be alright . But it’s like my anxiety is saying “there not doctors , they don’t really know , you could have allergic reaction , what if you die , all these thoughts start flooding “ and I’m trying to overcome it right now . But I can’t help it . My fiancé is here and he’s supportive very supportive . But my anxiety , won’t let me . I hate this anxiety !

[EleanorRose in reply to Newmum83]

Reassurance isn’t always as helpful as we think it might be unfortunately. I’m only ever briefly reassured before my anxiety kicks in with more unhelpful thoughts. It’s great that your family and fiancé are supporting you though. You have absolutely rightly pointed out that all of those doubts are coming from anxiety.

You know you’re not allergic and you know these foods won’t kill you. You also know that more harm will come from not eating than it will from eating these foods. What would you say to a friend if they told you they were too scared to eat?

I do totally understand that feeling of not being able to do something. You feel like the anxiety is completely in control but you need to try and regain some of that. I have to try and remind myself that even when anxiety tells me I can’t, I can still physically do these things, they just feel really uncomfortable. It’s a little bit like if someone can’t leave the house because of anxiety... it feels terrible for them but there’s nothing stopping them physically getting up and going outside.

It really sucks, you’re not deliberately not eating and the anxiety you’re feeling is real BUT there is no reason why you can’t eat and you need to eat for your health and to allow you to feed your baby.

It will be scary but you CAN do this.

[56artist_ in reply to EleanorRose]

I like your post and anorexic for 40 years scared of food I know that I recovered recently after 7 years of treatment it's a battle that's hard to win however I have recovered and they'll a I do scared of food I listen to that eating disorder Voice for 40 years yes everything I put in my mouth is going to kill me I haven't died yet however anorexia about took my life many times yes we need to eat that was a very nice reply

[Lexirae_]

My anxiety got worse after I had my daughter, the same way, everything about eating scared me, then it turned into anxiety about not eating etc. eat something small and soft love, start small, pudding, jello, crackers and work your way up, i still have anxiety about trying new things or foods I haven’t eaten in awhile and it’s scary, but you’ll be okay! If you need to talk you can message me!

[Newmum83 in reply to Lexirae_]

Yes I never had anxiety ever . I literally at everything , did everything and since I had my son . All of it cane flooding . Just having the fear of dying or having an allergic reaction . I hate it, I’m trying to take it slow but with pumping I have to eat ya know ?

[Lexirae_ in reply to Newmum83]

My anxiety started BAD when I got pregnant with my son, like panic attacks daily, I didn’t know what it was though and it was SUPER bad, then it went away a bit after I had him (still there but calmed down) then a year and a half later I got pregnant with my daughter and I developed agoraphobia and severe panic attacks multiple times a day, after I had her I was deathly afraid of allergic reactions, the outside, germs, I have a constant lump in my throat it’s SO bad then for a year all of my anxiety disappeared completely I was GREAT no anxiety, no panic, no symptoms then it came back 9 months ago with a vengeance!! I haven’t left my house, I eat so bland, I’m in a constant state of derealization, standing up just makes be dizzy. It’s scary, I’m sorry you’re going through this, keep trying to push yourself, start small and focus on your baby, it’ll get better ❤️

[Newmum83 in reply to Lexirae_]

Then I gave low iron , Ive taken the pill plenty of times but today I can’t

[Indigojoe]

try making yourself a cup of tea with honey in it. Make it sweet. IT will calm you down.

Wait until you feel better before you make some toast with butter etc.......

Does your OB/GYN know how you are feeling?

[Newmum83 in reply to Indigojoe]

I have mentioned it , but it’s gotten worst . It’s hard to handle

[Indigojoe in reply to Newmum83]

i understand, totally..............what would you tell me to do, right now, If I was in " your shoes"

[Newmum83 in reply to Indigojoe]

Relax. And breathe . Your still here , and if it was anything severe it would have happened already , allergic reaction dong delay they just happen ,. It hasn’t happened , so it’s just your anxiety and you can’t let it beat you .

[jessiejakes]

Hi there I'm a 64 year old woman and have had anxiety off and on for many years.when I'm ok and relaxed I am a good eater.but when I'm anxious I to can't eat or have to make myself eat,it's anxiety causing all the thoughts about eating but I find putting tv on and watching TV whilst I'm eating takes my mind off it.try soft stuff and gradually intro duce other foods.i also buy complain or build up drinks from chemist and if you mix them with milk it's equivalent of a light meal and has vitamins and minerals.try drinking them ,but please see your doctor or health visitor and talk to them about your fears.they will have heard it a hundred times or more you are not alone ,this happens to lots of people with anxiety.and the good news is it will get better and you will eat again and lose your fear,but please speak to your doctor for support.

[2017runner]

Sorry to hear things are so hard right now. Eating solid food can be really hard when anxious, what about trying some meal drinks like complan or huel?

[Liz0]

I got some fortisip drinks from the pharmacy and it’s only a small amount to take but has everything in to replace from not eating solids. They help me lots

[poisoneppie]

When worst comes to worst, i confront my anxiety by telling myself if i die today it doesn’t matter i will die anyway and my fear of something will slowly disappear. Yes its freaking us out of the thoughts of us dying but hey, we need to confront this anxiety head on. Don’t believe in what it says into our heads. It is all in the mind and right meds will be a great relief. Be brave and think of you kids. They still need you to be strong for them. We all are better than this condition. Remember God will never get us through something that we can’t overcome. Call on Him always. It is the best reassuring thing we’ve got to fight this battle.

[RoseyViolet]

Hi NewMum83! I used to suffer greatly with anxiety and fears and things that were seemingly out of my control drove me batty. Stress and anxiety can do crazy things to our bodies. One time I felt like I couldn't breathe and take in full breaths, turns out it was anxiety/stress. Do you have a place of solace you can turn to? Perhaps playing a particular soothing song/music or a friend who understand, won't judge and is available to have on speed dial to help you through anxious moments?

A great resource that helped to put my mental negative feelings/thoughts into perspective was a book called, The Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyer. Great book!! She writes about the fact that we have to think about what we are thinking about and not always trust our feelings. She calls it "stinkin' thinkin'", it's so true, sometimes we can get into a destructive cycle that is very bad for ourselves and we may need to just stop, turn around and choose to think differently because we can. It's a choice. I pray for you friend, it's truly a journey.

[56artist_]

I'm 57 sweetie and I have been an anorexic for 40 years since the age of 14 7 years ago I check myself into treatment I still continue to go with Outpatient Treatment but I was afraid of food I would need nothing I'm surprised I haven't died already I've almost died many times throughout the 40 years however I guess I've made it through treatment in anorexia is the most deadliest illness mental illness known I'm not saying you have a mental illness but I was afraid to eat put anything in my mouth even water voices kept telling me hey it's going to kill you that was a lie I have very good education and experience for not eating so we really need to eat I know that now you take care of yourself

[flaxxy703]

eat nature will not let anything happen to you while eating, fear is only a belief

[Brightfuture22]

Hi Newmum83,

I went through something similar, recently. In the beginning, after I was triggered into this panic episode I’ve been in for the last 4 months, I couldn’t eat. Which is the opposite of “normal” me. Normally, eating is how I copped with stress, sadness, etc. That all changed when my anxiety and panic were turned on in April. I ended up losing 30 pounds in less then 2 months.

I was convinced I would have an anaphylactic reaction to anything I ate. I was also convinced if I ate food out at a restaurant it was like tampered with and possibly contaminated, therefore could kill me. I was miserable. In addition to those ruminating thoughts around food, I was anxious all the time for a variety of other reasons, making it so I literally could not eat.

Even when I tried to eat, the food wouldn’t process. It would just sit in my stomach and make me feel so full and disgusted even though I only ate a few bites. That is because of our nervous system. It is connected to our stomach and when it’s kicked into hyper drive it stalls the processing of food.

I remember one time I went to McDonald’s and got a breakfast sandwich. Something I’d eaten dozens of other times. I took a few bites and then felt like my throat was closing(it wasn’t but the anxiety was telling me it was). I panicked, making it worse. I threw away the sandwich and have never eaten a breakfast sandwich from them since.

I still struggle with eating, my thoughts revolve around the food killing me somehow. But then again, I basically think everything is going to kill me, I have health anxiety.

What’s helped me is taking a small bit of what I want to eat and waiting a few minutes. I know that medically, if I were going to have an anaphylactic reaction it would happen right away. Once I’ve “cleared” that food as being “okay” I have less of a hard time eating it next time. For example, if I have toast and it doesn’t hurt me, I’ll continue to eat toast from that same bag of bread with much less worry about it.

Oh and I can relate completely about the iron pills. I was supposed to take some antibiotics a few months back, I’ve taken them before so I know they don’t hurt me, but I could only take like 5 and then my panic and anxiety wouldn’t allow me to finish the prescription.

I hope that you are able to get through this soon, I know how hard it is. If you ever want someone to talk to privately about it or anything, feel free to message me!

💜 Ash