Venting so I won’t cry

[hippieebbbz09]

Hi

I recently got hired to this cool new job. I was awesome in the interview, but it’s only been my second day there and I’m putting myself down , as if I’m not good enough. Guys, i truly think this is an awesome opportunity, but I always think I’m not smart enough or impressionable enough. Well, as I’m putting myself down , I got a panic attack but luckily my co-worker helped me with our team project and was really reassuring to have an awesome team player next to me. I’m officially on holiday break ( 4th of July) but I’m reflecting on why I always put myself down. It’s not like I blew the project . I pretty much knew what I was doing.

What is with me? :/ I hate that I always put myself down as if im not good enough . I’ve been like this since a teen .

[Dogdoo]

I had a similar thing years ago.

Dream job, good money, etc.

Day 3, after anxiety and panic and basically not able to do anything, I quit.

It did force me to get some mental health help and after a few months if meds, therapy, etc.

I felt much better, and better about myself, and was able to go to a medical training program and became certified in that field.

I've had a several different 'dream jobs' since then. Lol

I think the self doubt is a manifestation of our anxiety/depression.

We worry we won't be good enough. Then we tell ourselves we aren't, cyce begins.

It just pratice to train yourself into more positive thinking by doing it over and over, even if you don't believe it at first.

I still struggle with self doubt. If i make an error, I'm so hard on myself.

It's a process.

[hippieebbbz09 in reply to Dogdoo]

Thank you! It truly seems like some horrible cycle , that I really want to practice not feeding into anymore. I totally relate. I do figure I’ll have more nice , and amazing opportunities...but I can’t allow myself to be lured into that ridiculous cycle of self-doubt.

[chamonix0522]

Remember everyone else is nervous too. They may not show it or they may even act like they know more than they do. Be confident in your abilities. It may take time but with each day you will get more confident. You may make mistakes but that's how you learn.

[hippieebbbz09 in reply to chamonix0522]

Yes, it’s something I want to practice , honing in on my abilities and being confident! Thanks for the uplifting advice. :)) 💚

[Dolphin14]

It's a new job. Of course you are nervous.

Give it more time if this is your dream

Best of luck

[hippieebbbz09 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you so much ....my anxiety just had me break down over it, but this holiday weekend is allowing me to relax , so I’m definitely calmer now. Yeah ...I’m going to adjust !

[Dolphin14 in reply to hippieebbbz09]

👍

[hippieebbbz09]

Well , to update !! I’m adjusting to the new job quite well. The project that I thought would be challenging, I took initiative and found a strategy to better handle and do the project. It’s now been completed on my part and now we are going forward I’m getting the first of many paychecks soon and I’m so proud of myself . It’s cool to vent on here and no one puts me down , I get honest but also awesome advice 💚 now to relax for a bit before the wrk week lol.

[Clarrisa]

The advice my mother gave me when I started a new job last was to smile i.e. keep a smile on my face. I think you can hide anxiety behind a nice smile.

A doctor in training where I once worked said she herself would dress extra nice. She found that gave her the needed lift. I went this route as it was easier than smiling continuously, & we were given a uniform allowance.

Congratulations on your successful first week!