Family fighting trauma

[Autumn26]

This is it, I couldn't handle this alone anymore, I must write all this down or I would gonna to fell apart.

When I was still a little kid, I always afraid of family fighting. I couldn't leave because I was too young and when the fighting started, I have nowhere to hide, because I was sleeping in the same room with those family members who fight. When the fighting starts, I could only cried, and this caused trauma which made me have anxiety and panic attack.

Until today, this is still one of my biggest fear in my life. And after the fight this time, I feel like they wouldn't cool again, they wouldn't be nice to each others again, they would hate each others forever and tells me "you must be aware you wouldn't become a grownup like her. "

I hate and afraid of hearing sentences like this, I love both of them, I love when thoese days when they still laughting together. But... If this time the relationship between them is really the end, how could I possibly be happy again, in this house?

I have nobody to tell, I tried to discuss with them about my feelings before but only made them hate each others ever more. My friends did listened to me, but neither one of them could help me that much.

What should I ever do? Now I am suffering from panic attack and it's hard to breath!

[Jamie2018]

You sound like a very sensitive person who loves her family. Of course it would hurt when they are fighting. Hope it helped you to write what is happening and your feelings on this site. There is not much anyone can do but to just listen to you. Try talking to your friends about this again. Im sure some of your friends have things on there mind that they feel they can't talk about so maybe if you open up to them they will do the same and you could be there for one another. Hope it gets better for you and post here whenever you feel like you need to talk

[Autumn26 in reply to Jamie2018]

Thank you, thank you so much for reading. It's alreally a big comfort to me to know that there's somebody else has read all of this stuff I wrote, all my worries, depress... Your words of kindness really means a lot to me, really. Thank you again!

[Jamie2018 in reply to Autumn26]

Your welcome very much. That is what this site is for.,feel free to cone here and talk about it anytime. There are some very nice people here