Doubting all my decisions.

[Rowley2018]

Hi All,

I'm new to this forum and I was hoping for some advice. I have had a surge in anxiety in the past week and I can't shake it. My fiance's car was hit by a drunk driver and we were forced to purchase a new vehicle. As soon as I left the dealership I was in a panic about if I made the right choice and that I could have gotten a better loan and on and on and on. I typically research and obsess over decisions like this so he left it up to me to make the decision. I was waking up with jolts of panic all night long. No matter what happens or if I made some wrong choices, I know it will be okay but I can't stop the panic. The thing that infuriates me the most is that I know I can't change it but I can't stop obsessing. There has been a lot of traumatic loss in my life this year, specifically that my fiance lost his brother to suicide(ptsd) about 4 hours after we asked him to be the best man in our wedding. I thought I was coping with this relatively well and I'm trying to be a strong support system for my fiance but I'm assuming this has something to do with it. Fiance is trying but is battling bouts of depression and anxiety which I think is weighing on me. I feel like I have been so useless since I have been overcome with anxiety everything even remotely stressful (wedding, car) makes me want to collapse. Thanks for listening. I just thought it would help to get it out.

[Krn210]

I know exactly what you mean. I too get upset with myself when a stressor occurs and my reaction is “over the top” in my opinion. Not even over the top, just not how I wish it were. You’ve had a lot going on so your nerves are extra sensitive right now. It sounds like you are showing up, and doing what you need to though...give yourself some credit for that! You’re doing better than you think. Make sure that you’re taking some time for yourself. Even just some focused breathing sessions throughout the day. *hugs*

[Rowley2018 in reply to Krn210]

Thank you Krn210. We picked the car up yesterday and he loves it. I'm starting to calm a little. Breathing, walking and taking some space from some of my known stressors. I've actually been able to sleep a bit. Hearing/reading "You're doing better than you think" is more calming than I could have expected. Thank you for that