Hi I’m new

[kensteel12]

Hey all I’m new here. I have anxiety and depression for the last 10 years.

I have not left my house in 5 years.

Does anyone have ideas how I can get my life in order. I’m willing to try anything

[Hidden]

Hello iv lived with anxiety and depression for over 20yrs. Iv had different types of help but it hasn't helped.

[kensteel12 in reply to Hidden]

Oh that’s no good.

[Hidden in reply to kensteel12]

I'm OK today but yesterday was bad. I don't work because of how I am everyday is a struggle. I find it hard to explain things, people bully me in area which is another anxiety. I'm quite calm at home it when I have to go out.

[kensteel12 in reply to Hidden]

Yes that used to happen to me a lot.

I have panic attack regularly and it caused me to never leave my house as not to be laughed at and bullied again.

[Hidden]

Have you tryed any mental health charities or anything else.

[kensteel12 in reply to Hidden]

No. I didn’t know there was any help for people like me

[Denhans in reply to kensteel12]

The best therapy I had, other than, my counsellor at SERRIC , is CBT ( cognitive behaviour therapy. It runs for 6 weeks and is so informative. In fact I’m going to enlist for another 6 weeks.. It gives you the tools to manage your depression and to help you function as normally as possible! Google it. 😜

[Bee1411]

A lot of places have volunteers that can come out and meet you, just for a chat. That might be a good start- you can build up a friendship with someone in your home and maybe go on a short walk with them and then keep building it up as weeks go by?

[kensteel12 in reply to Bee1411]

Good idea 💡 I will try that definitely.

[Hidden]

20 yrs iv been getting help and I'm no better. Iv given up

[susannaylor]

Hello kensteel12 im so sorry to here that yoy have suffered so long with this problem x I've had anxiety since 2016april that's when it come to a head x I've had panic attacks for over 20 years x I eventually went to see my doctor x he did put me on 2 types of tablets that made me feel worse x so he took me off them and sent me to anxiety clinic where others where there as Well in the same siuation x yes u did help me x now I can deal with on my own x but it's nice to know your not alone there are alot of others suffering worth the same problems x but now by tell myself that it my life and u want to do what I want to do and my brain is not going to rule my life x I'm telling my brain what I want to do with my life and I'm in control of my life x and it does work x I am 98% better than I was last year x and still have room for improvement x make it your new years resolution hun and good luck x happy Christma and New year x think posative hun x you can do it x

[Denhans in reply to susannaylor]

Your post is so inspiring and has reminded me of my own life ‘to do list’ Merry Christmas to you💜

[kensteel12 in reply to Denhans]

Merry Christmas to you.

[Hidden]

There are many charities MIND, Rethink and SANE are worth contacting you can also do self referral to NHS online and they will contact you.

[Claire1992]

Hi Kensteel, I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this.

I personally haven’t had a fear of leaving my house but when I’m out and something happens to make me feel uncomfortable or I get anxious over something I immediately have this overwhelming desire I go back to my home. I believe it’s because I feel safe at home, it’s MY home, I own everything in it and I control everything and I feel safe in it. I can understand how people can just stay in their homes for good, so I guess I understand a little?

One time I was overseas and things weren’t working out as they should have and I felt really uncomfortable and started to panic about being so far away from home, so much so I nearly paid over two thousand dollars to fly back home that day, instead of two weeks later.

I couldn’t justify spending that amount of money and the trip I was on was a once in a life time for me and knew that once I got home I would regret it. So looking at it long term I know it was best to stay and try to make the most of it. I was able to enjoy my trip. I used my journal (kept one for nearly ten years now) to write all my thoughts, just writing down whatever came to mind. See the four other people I was traveling with decided to pair off and leave me to do my own thing! I felt so alone and that’s why I just wanted to go home. So I wrote all that down, forming my thoughts into writing really helps me clear my mind and I didn’t feel so alone. It was like I was able to write everything down that had happened that day and I felt so much better for it.

I also called my family back home and was able to talk to them, it was something familiar and I really needed that. Also just having someone who knew what I was going through really gave me the strength I needed to get through it.

And I ended up really enjoying the rest of my holidays, even though there was certainly hard and upsetting times.

I’m sorry about the long story but I just wanted to share my experience.

As advice goes though, maybe try keeping your own journal?

Have you got family or friends you can talk to and possibly ask them to join you in a walk around the block? (Baby steps)

When you do leave your house maybe bring something from home that you find important, something smallish and just have it in your hand or pocket? I know that may sound silly but I did a similar thing while on my holiday. Having something with you from home helps you to stay connected to your home.

And always remember, we are here whenever you want to talk, we are all very supportive and encouraging.

Please keep us updated when you can on how you are feeling and anything that’s on your mind that you wish to share or talk about

💐

[Jeff1943]

Ken, as I wrote elsewhere recently agoraphobia is our anxiety misguidedly trying to help us, it senses our worry and fear and tries to protect us by making us want to stay in the 'safety' of our home. However, this is 'help' we can do without as it makes us prisoners in our own homes and denies us the enjoyment of the great outdoors.

Claire Weekes, the doctor who many years ago wrote 'Self help for your nerves' which has helped untold thousands to recover from anxiety disorders, wrote that we can recover from all the symptoms of anxiety no matter how long and how badly we have suffered.

Her method of achieving this is based on Acceptance. We should stop fighting our agoraphobia, as fighting causes more tension and stress, and accept it for the time being, surrender to it and learn to coexist with it. We should leave our comfort zone and enter the great outdoors, there to confront our agoraphobia. It is surely true that we experience more fear contemplating outdoors than actually going outdoors.

To begin the road to recovery we should leave our homes and accept the bad feeling for the moment. We know very well those feelings will not kill us, will not disable us, will not send us crazy. We should not try to distract our thoughts from the bad feelings because it is important to feel the fear of agoraphobia in order to banish it.

So calmly we should leave our homes and practice Acceptance of the bad feelings. Logic tells us there are no dangers there, you have felt this way before now feel it a little longer only this time accepting it rather than shunning and running from it.

Yes, we will experience fear, but do it any way, do it any way time and time again. Your jelly legs will not let you down, they never do, imagine yourself drifting along on a cloud effortlessly.

I say again, as it is central to recovery, that it is important to Accept the bad feelings, let them come, for without feeling them you never will overcome them. Never were truer words said than 'do what you fear and the death of fear is assured'.

After the first outing you may find that the experience was less fearful than its contemplation. Subsequent outings give further opportunity to accept the bad feelings until you reach the stage where the discomfort is no barrier to that walk to the park or the shops.

When through practice you have learnt to truly accept the bad feelings your levels of fear will diminish until you are no longer generating the fear hormone that has been sensitising your nervous system for so long. That is the point at which you feel recovery.

There will be set backs, yes, and it is easier for me to say than for you to do I know. Your reserves of courage and strength are much greater than you imagine and will be there to assist you. So do the hard thing, face up to agoraphobia and enter your own.

[Janco in reply to Jeff1943]

Jeff1943

Wow! what great advise.

I agree, acceptance is key.

[DeeM3]

Hello! What a great start! Finding friends whom understand :). I agree with Jeff and I want to add that medication is different for everyone and for me personally, a huge help. I wasn’t able to accept the feelings until I started a low dose medication— I’m not numb to the feelings I just don’t go into panic mode while taking the medication. It has allowed me to face things I never could before, re-wiring my thinking per se, so that I can eventually be medication free and realize that just because my heart is racing and my vision spinning, I’m not going to perish. It’s a beautiful life my friend, you deserve to live it! Take baby steps. Start by sitting in your yard or walking so many feet. Anything is better than trapping yourself in your house. Lack of sunshine and socialization will make you worse. God Bless— I’m here for you.

[DeeM3 in reply to DeeM3]

I would like to also add that some of us have true chemical imbalances in our brains that could use help from some simple medication. Just like one with diabetes needs insulin. If you could get to that point where you could have a check up that would be fantastic.

[Usagold in reply to DeeM3]

That is actually debatable, Dee. It might be true, but I've read some interesting articles recently that suggest that neurotransmitter "imbalance" or a shortage of neurotransmitters might happen as the result of the depression or anxiety. The fact that people improve so much from CBT indicates that the problem is more cognitive (thinking patterns & behaviors) than chemical imbalances. The reason it runs in families might be because unhealthy thinking & behaviors are learned and passed down... A good place to read more about this is the excellent anxietycentre.com site, which is the site that convinced me I could heal without meds. I was SO bad I didn't believe it at first. I talked with one of their very good phone counselors for help & encouragement. Years ago I did take an SSRI for 6-8 mos after my father died, and I did get better, but this time, which was way more severe, I got better by CBT, actually learning coping skills & how to accept the symptoms, which now I feel like I'm more in control of my anxiety. It took a while, but I know what it is and what I need to do, and it's so awesome to feel normal and calm (most of the time) again knock on wood. Merry Christmas!

[Jeff1943 in reply to Usagold]

Glad you have recovered well, Usagold, and a very interesting point that people might have chemical imbalances because of anxiety and depression rather than the other way round. Also the point about inherited anxiety not being passed on by genetic deficiencies but by faulty nurture. I'd like to believe that's true, they should do some research following the off spring of anxiety sufferers and compare them with the offspring of 'normal' people and rechecking at 5 year intervals, also testing for chemical imbalance in both groups, the results could make a big difference to anxiety therapy.

[DeeM3 in reply to Jeff1943]

Very true. My dad has high anxiety and there are three of us siblings. Two have anxiety and one ad cool as a cucumber. Hard to tell.

[DeeM3 in reply to DeeM3]

I have a cousin with schizophrenia that is completely fine when medicated.

[Janco in reply to Usagold]

Hi Usagold

Good to know there are alternatives to the popular idea of "take a pill and there you go" Thx for your input.

I also believe we have to work on our own thoughts, and acceptance of the symptoms.

I have also overcome anxiety with a mixture of CBT and my own "thoughtarrest technique" after seeing a psychologist many years ago.

[kensteel12 in reply to DeeM3]

I would like to thank everyone for there support. Normally I get insulted and laughed at and mocked. I’ve been on many different forums for help, I just normally get mocked. So thankyou all for not mocking me.

[Speechpat in reply to kensteel12]

We are all in this together. You can find acceptance here.

[susannaylor in reply to kensteel12]

Kensteel12 yes people tgat have never gone through anything like this don' understand and think your mad and laugh at you I've had a friend like that but there not worth telling anything to but this site does help alot as were all going through the same journey and can try and help each other x it' nice to chat with others that understand x take care hunny and enjoy your Christmas x