having a low day. Need to let it out

[Moomstonemama]

Having a bad morning. Anxiety sits in the pit of my stomach sometimes my brain feels like it's on fire. I have a fear of death. But more the fear of how I feel when I fear death if that makes sense. I just can't feel like I belong here in this life anymore. Like life is like some strange phenomenon. But all I want to do is enjoy it but don't seem to remember how to do that. I go to work, go on trips, starting a new job but nothing seems to shake this mindset. The mornings are so hard to get out of bed. I'm just so fed up. I want to have normal thoughts and feelings. This last little while I feel like there's been some improvement but yesterday and today in the morning I'm feeling particularly low. I know I'll recover but it's taking so long. It's been almost 9 months of living in this hell. Life seems like such a struggle. I have just found out that I have low cortisol levels especially in the morning and my hormone levels are set for menopause. Low levels of all those hormones. I've just started some therapy for those and well see how that goes. Thank you all for being here. It's nice to have a place to let it out because I know it's wearing on everyone who is supporting me.

[Jeff1943]

Moomstonemama, maybe your serotonin levels need a boost, you know the hormone that keeps us happy, so if you're receiving therapy for low hormones that might cover it.

When we're experiencing anxiety our nerves tend to magnify problems, minor fears and perceived threats tenfold. So this fear you have of death is just your anxiety exaggerating the normal feeling to avoid death many times over.

In fact if you read the reports of people who have had near death experiences you find that most of them felt euphoric and didn't want to come back to this vale of tears and were most disappointed when told "It's not your time yet, you have to go back".

[Moomstonemama in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you Jeff1943. I know it's totally irrational as I don't fear it anymore than the next person when I'm feeling good. I'm taking ssri's for serotonin and Wellbutrin for the other neurotransmitters. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it.

[HearYou]

Moonstonemama.

You are ok to talk about your hard mornings. Mine is the worst part of my day lately. But sounds like some help is coming your way with hormones to help balance menopause. That is so good news. I remember when my Mother had nothing to help her through her changes in life. I'll think of you tomorrow when I wake up and try to stop myself from feeling so down because I know you are trying to do that too.