Finally got the answer I needed.

So I went in and saw psychiatrist today. Finally I got diagnose with a delusional disorder. I thought so much about schizophrenia that I thought I was actually developing the illness, Turns out I don't show signs of it. I'm glad I don't show signs of it, and that mostly is all in my mind...... but I still feel like there's something terribly wrong with my mind. Like I'm still scared that my condition can get worse. She suggested medication but I refuse it because of how addicting they can be and the side affects. She said I have a mild delusional disorder because I believed I was devoliping another mental illness when I really wasn't I just hope that now that I'm diagnose I hope I start having better days.

[Devin76oh]

There was one thing that my Psychologist told me that set me straight very quickly. I too was thinking I was going crazy and I was affraid of it etc. etc. But she said this to me "Those that are afraid of getting crazy or feel like they are, are infact NOT going crazy. So the mere fact that you are thinking about it places you in the OK list. It is those people that don't think they have a problem but yet other people see it, it is those that have a condition"

Stop over thinking it. A professional medical Doctor is telling you you are OK. Believe them and move on. You will see over time your thoughts will change and it will be less of a distraction.

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Thanks! I tried that earlier and it worked. I felt like I was going crazy earlier I almost left work. I'm still here remaining strong. Even though I still feel this fear inside the pit of my stomach. I won't back down!