I got really angry at my anxiety...

[Iamvaluable888]

I've had anxiety since this past Feb, I was super sick and took some musinx cough syrup and fell asleep and woke up an hour later in sheer terror and had a twelve hour long bad trip/ panic attack. Once I finally slept and woke up I chalked it up to a weird chemical reaction in my body, but then I started having panic attacks every other night from there on out. It started to get better after a few weeks and the panic attacks were getting easier and easier to get out of quickly.. I had a while where I felt much much better, but then it started creeping back in … It then got really bad in May - everything felt scary and weird and I felt like I was in a scary nightmare all day everyday plus panic attacks at night. I thought I was totally losing my mind. I ended up going to urgent care after another 12 hour bout of severe anxiety/panic attacks. Which lead me to finding a good Dr. which lead me to getting on meds 25mg Zoloft and 7.5 mg Buspar. I also started therapy and doing tons and tons of research on anxiety.. I am a healthy happy person whom has ton a ton of personal growth work over the years and done therapy as well, I am a massage therapist and I'm currently training to be a women's personal empowerment coach.. So that all of a sudden I was suffering with severe life consuming anxiety was really blowing my mind?!!?!? Yes I've also had a lot of trauma in my life, and I suffered with depression in my teens and 20's , but i'm currently 37 and my life was fantastic. I'm still working with my general care DR. and getting blood work done, still going to therapy to address my past, my trauma , and PTSD from some major events in my life.. But doing research and reading about anxiety and hearing other peoples stories really helped me feel less terrified and like I was going crazy.. I got a fantastic workbook for anxiety issues, and use a ton of the coping mechanisms in the workbook to help me get through. I am overall doing much better, but when my period comes it seems to spike things back up, there is a definite hormonal component to my anxiety. So last night I woke up at 4;30 a.m and I felt the waves of anxiety and adrenaline movng t

[Jeff1943]

You've really had a rough time by the sound of it but at least your doctor is on the case and you are getting some therapy and you"ve been researching anxiety so you're doing all the right things.

Meds are fine for giving you a break from the mental mayhem but nobody wants to stay on meds for life unless they really have to. So it's good to use the breathing space to develop a recovery plan that doesn't involve meds. And no matter how bad or how long you've suffered you can recover from the misery of anxiety disorder and repetitive panic disorders.

You talk about coping mechanisms but there is only one that I know that really works and has enabled thousands to free themselves from the nightmare, though there are no doubt others I'm unaware of.

Anxiety attacks may make you feel dreadful and make you fearful but their power is limited. They can't make you lose your mind or turn you into an invalide and they're notvlife threatening. So when you feel the rush of anxiety and possible panic attack heading your way just stand your ground and tell yourself that these things are just glitches in your over sensitised nervous system. So instead of tensing up, just feel every muscle in your body go limp including a big imaginary muscle in your brain. And instead of fighting the attack do the opposite and accept it with as little fear as youcan muster.

You are like a rock on the shore and the waves come at you the one after the other and they crash over and around you and then recede but despite all their fury you survive because the rock is stronger than the incoming waves. By accepting the bad feelings for the time being you rob them of their power to heap more fear and anxiety on your sensitised nervous system and because anxiety feeds on the fear you generate you give your nerves a chance to recover and you will recover your quiet mind and be free from the artificial terror of anxiety.

So frame your mind to Accept the bad feelings when they come, just accept them that's all, and be determined to stop this toothless tiger from intimidating you any longer.

[Iamvaluable888 in reply to Jeff1943]

I wholeheartedly agree!! That's everything I am currently doing. Yesterday I had a Reiki session & it brought all kinds of energy to the surface, I thought about dying .. I thought that I wasn't strong enough to get through this.. I was driving & crying and terrified that I thought about ending my life. I got home kicked off my shoes and walked to the middle of my yard and just prayed and cried & called upon god / the universe anything that would support me . I went inside as I was getting hot & attached by Mosquitoes. I sat on the floor at the base of my mirror and I stared into my own eyes & I let out all the pain , fear, doubt , suffering.. I went into all of it. That has been my practice , letting it in. My therapy is about going into the fear, that's what we do. After about an hour of talking to myself in the mirror I journaled for awhile afterwards. I love myself very deeply & what I discovered in my long crying purge is that I want to live more then anything- I love my life & myself , my partner, my parents, my cats, my home, my friends. I saw how much I am a truly amazing person & how much I have to live for. Now my mantra is " I'm still ALIVE!!" " I'm Still Here doing this !" I have zero intention of being on meds the rest of my life, I've only been on them for two months and I plan of staying on them for awhile until I feel the time is right to gently get off of them. Maybe that's a few months or a few years.. thank you for taking time to write me such a beautiful & powerful response. So helpful to have this advice continually reaffirmed, that this is truly the way to move through anxiety and come out the other side. My post was a two part post and I'm not sure you saw the second one? Anyway... thank you again for your support and wisdom