This is so hard

[Stay_strong85]

I've been struggling with agoraphobia for months and months, it's been severely bad. Recently I've been practicing going in public and driving by myself for the first time in ages and to be quite honest it's still too hard for me; I can't handle it. The only thing I ever really leave the house for now it's doctor's appointments and maybe going to Walmart which is like literally 4 minutes away from my house. Ninety-nine percent of time I have to go with a family member or my boyfriend in order for it to work, and even then sometimes I have to tell them I need to leave and go home. It makes me feel so sick sometimes too. Does anyone else ever struggle this badly with it?😯😧😳😩

[Agora1]

Stay_strong85, it has and I was the worst. Literally terrified to the point of having my b/p go sky high with just the thought of leaving the house or driving. When you go with a family member, do you drive? If you don't, I would recommend just having them sit in the passenger seat so that you get use to driving again. I needed that someone to sit with me while I drove but I didn't have anyone. At the beginning, my therapist would have me call her and put the phone on the passenger seat while I drove to her office. Knowing that there was a real person there for me, even if on the phone, gave me the support and confidence I needed to drive alone.

Desperate problems call for desperate ways of making it work for ourselves. It was a little costly to use a therapy session for driving but it worked. I've always preferred driving myself so that I did have the option to leave a store immediately if I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

Now, it doesn't happen anymore when in a store because I use deep breathing while driving as well as when shopping. It helps keep the oxygen at the right levels so that I don't hyperventilate. By doing this both my mind and body stay calm. Don't get discouraged, it will happen for you. Small steps turn into bigger steps as we move forward. x

[Vbee in reply to Agora1]

You give me hope! Outwardly i look like i have it all together and am the fun person to be with. But.....i am having issuea re driving! My kids need me to take them places and i just get like my head is like a balloon that's about to pop. I'm okay at driving if my husband or mum is in passenger seat but alone freaks me out - this is new to me! I used to drive anywhere anytime and once drove 4000kms by myself! Had a crash recently and last week got diagnosed with cataracts so having an op next month so I'm hoping that with improved vision life will be clearer (ha ha). In the mean time i am driving short distances each day on my own and extending the distance each time - i drive like a grandma at the moment because I am feeling very unsure of my eyesight. Add perimenopause on top and you have one mighty fine anxiety soup!!!

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Vbee]

I can only drive very short distances.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you very much! And yes I drive, still not comfortable in my own skin. Terrified of being out of the house, but I have faith I will recover. You give me hope!

[Cat33]

I used to be like you The only way to get over it is to constantly practice doing it Keep a diary of every outing you will see a pattern emerge the same old symptoms Its adrenaline surging through your body but it always dies down Its hard but you can do it if you only stick to those two outings you will fear everywhere else Try and do an outing every day accept the feelings the more you do it the less intense they will be and you will lose your fear Try going for a walk every single day and tell yourself you can turn round at any time you will eventually go further and stay out longer Good luck x

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Cat33]

Ok, thank you. I will keep practicing. I appreciate the support.

[Cat33 in reply to Stay_strong85]

I know it's so tough to do but I found it was the only way Be kind to yourself don't push too hard do what you feel you can cope with then each day you will have little triumphs xxxx