Just a Note

I have dealt with anxiety issues on approximately six different occasions in my life beginning at the age of 23 - I have a lot of experience with this malady should anyone need an experienced ear - You can and will recover

Blessings to all

[Hidden]

Hi, im 20 and the other day i had a panic attack while i was asleep. i didn't even know that was possible. i woke my mom up saying i can't breathe she told me and i was unaware. I haven't been feeling like myself for maybe 1 year and 1/2 . i feel trapped inside my own mind, like my thoughts are gonna drive me insane or kill me. when i finally woke up and was aware of what i was doing, i was standing in the bathroom with her and she was telling me to calm down. in her eyes i was awake the whole time, blinking and breathing like a normal human being, but in my own eyes, i was asleep and had no idea this was even happening until i snapped out of it and was panicking , i felt like i went crazy, and i felt like the only way to stop me from feeling like this was if i go to the emergency room. i felt like it was never going to end. my sister was on the phone with me telling me I'm okay and try not to panic because my mom is sickly. its like she didn't even understand where i was in my head. it made me even more angry because the way she was talking to me , it felt like she thought i was doing this to myself, and i could just say ok, I'm going to stop now, and everything would be fine. instead it pissed me off in the mist of my crazy moment. i have a phobia over going to the hospitals because i feel like if i tell them how i feel that they're gonna drug me and I'm never gonna feel like myself again. i feel like once they give me medication i won't be the same person, and ill basically be a vegetable and unaware of who i am, and whats even my name. i feel like ill be a zombie, and i won't be able to be normal and live a normal life. or like i won't know who my family is, more importantly my mom is, and like i won't love her anymore. i think I'm under so much stress but i can never tell if I'm actually stressed or if I'm just crazy . I'm so irritable and i wanna spazz out at any given moment if something irritates me. i ended up trying to sleep it off and I've been afraid to sleep most nights, especially when i think too much about it. i have crazy thoughts and i don't even want to think half of the time. i have this little brother and the little shit is the devil, he does whatever he wants and he stresses me out more just the sight of him, he brings my stress levels up and i just want to deck him half of the time, and i feel like i have to fight myself in order not to. I'm like this with anyone who stresses me out. i want help and i want to feel normal and feel like i belong, and like I'm not crazy. the thoughts that i have, i want to stop thinking them, i feel like pulling my hair out in order to change my way of thinking for the moment. and i want to think normal. i focus so much on my thoughts, i feel I'm a person inside my own head, like a small me is sitting in my brain controlling my way of thinking. and when i think too much about how i feel, i feel even more crazier. i didn't always feel this way, and i didn't always think I'm crazy or that I'm going to go crazy. something has to be wrong with me, i can't be normal feeling like this .

[Cicinoodle in reply to Hidden]

sounds like you need a good old fashioned hug

Here's a virtual one you are going through a tough time, overwhelmed and scared and uncertain.

Your little brother is trying to distract you, because he is scared too. He loves you and wants you back, he knows something is wrong.

Stay strong for him and give him a big hug

you will be fine, just don;t give into those crazy thoughts!

xo

[Hidden in reply to Cicinoodle]

thank you , (hugs back) i just don't even remember how i got this way.

[Cicinoodle in reply to Hidden]

I really believe we all got this way after Sept. 11 attacks.

Living in fear and uncertainty is horrible, not identifying what it's caused from is scary. The world is a different place now, everyone looking out for themselves and forgetting their sisters and brothers on this earth. we are all hurting in one way or another.

xo

Stay strong and never let it get you down

[Hidden]

Anxiety/Panic attacks occurring during sleep are not singular - many folks suffering from anxiety have this experience - You are not crazy nor are you going crazy - your description of what you are experiencing is a classic example of someone suffering from high anxiety and panic attacks - Remember that your anxiety will only go so high - it will come down - wait for it to do so - do not run and hide - The reaction of your sister is a common reaction from those who have never experienced anxiety or suffer from it. They mean no harm - they just don't understand the condition - Intrusive thoughts like you describe are the result of stressed nerves in a stressed body. No matter how bad you may feel you must begin to react to your condition in a positive way. Recovery is hard work and never occurs in a straight line - there will be good days and bad days - Stay busy with your hands to ward off the intrusive/irrational thoughts and allow your mind to focus on the task at hand. Exercise will also help in a great way - exercise burns the adrenaline that fuels your anxiety. If you are in college or working - keep at it no matter what - you must face any fears you may have - the sooner you do so the quicker will be your recovery - and seek professional help for your condition - I know of no one who has been drugged in the manner you have indicated - do not fear professional help - Blessings to you

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thank you, i appreciate your response, it gave me peace of mind. i will go seek professional help. it can be very scary to think about, and its one of my biggest fears.

[Bluswife]

Yes your right I really haven't met someone who's went thru the same thing as far as anxiety coming and going . Just episodes it's hard to deal with those because u get to live with out them for years then just out of the blue there back and then they still your life for a few months or so then just like they came they slowly leave

[Hidden in reply to Bluswife]

im so afraid to even find out if anyone i know has the same things because i don't want anyone to think I'm crazy