Advice needed

[x_s_x]

I got told about this from a friend so thought I'd give it a try as I don't exactly have anything to lose.

I'm suffering quite badly from anxiety, I constantly feel as if I'm not good enough for anyone. And that I'm not getting anywhere in life. I'm pushing my boyfriend away and that's the last thing I want as I'm petrified of losing him.

Some days I just want to get in my car and drive away. I'm finding it very very hard to trust anyone.

I'm physically pulling my hair out from stress and each day it just seems to be getting worse. And I'm not sure how I can help myself get through this.

I find it difficult to talk to people as I just cannot find the right words to say.

[Hidden]

This is exactly how I am feeling!! Sometimes when I talk I feel silly and when it comes out of my mouth it seems so stupid, to the point you push people away because your upset that there not there for you when actually they are, they just don't know what to say.

Have you been to the doctors at all?

[x_s_x in reply to Hidden]

No I haven't, I need to book an appointment but it's just making myself go and to make sure I actually talk to someone about what I'm feeling, I know this is the only way forward.

[Jeff1943]

I think there are 2 things you need to do. First ask yourself what is causing your stress, only you can answer that, then seek the advice of some sensible person that you trust and together work out what needs to be done to overcome whatever is causing you stress.

You say you're experiencing anxiety but you don't tell us what the symptoms are other than you have low self esteem and you're pulling your hair out. So the second thing you must address is your jangled nerves which have become over-sensitised by worry and stress. When this happens minor fears that we can usually cope with no problem suddenly appear as enormous challenges too big for us to resolve and I think this has happened to you. Your normal fears that you haven't been as successful in life as you want are suddenly exaggerated into feelings of massive failure on you behalf so you think you're some sort of failure.

This obsession with what otherwise you would view as small failings that can be corrected is caused by your nervous system that runs throughout your body becoming super sensitised by anxiety. In this state it can play all sorts of tricks on you and cause you bad feelings as well as mimicing the symptoms of serious organic illness. The trouble is, by constantly stressing yourself you are regularly 'topping up' your nervous system with sensitivity.

Your objective should be to stop constantly frightening yourself in a vicious circle of worry causing more anxiety causing more worry causing more anxiety etc. You must stop fighting and constantly tensing and testing yourself by Accepting the bad feelings for the moment by framing your mind to accept them and not to add to them with further anxiety. This takes practice and persistance, it is no quick fix, but with time you will stop thrashing your nervous system which will then cease to be over sensitive and will return to normal. When that day comes your bad feelings will pass and you will be able to get on with your life because you will have proved to yourself that Accepting bad feelings overcomes all.