Memory issues becasue of anxiety

Hey everyone need your input! Please try to refrain from bias as opinions differ on this subject and I am already stressed as it is.

I was at work today, and a youth that I supervise was referring to lesbians as dykes. He was describing a picture of a "butch" lesbian holding a baby. My coworker who I do not get along with engaged in the conversation . At the time I thought she said what kind of dyke is she. But now I am questioning what I remember and if she actually said that. The word is really offensive and since I identify as a lesbian I was disgusted. But now I am wracking my brain and cant remember what she actually said. Has anyone ever experienced this? I conplained to my supervisor and felt really anxious at the time.

5 Replies

  • I definitely have a hard time with my memory. I think the anxiety just consumes my brain. But which ever way she said it is not ok. It's not ok at all to use that word

  • I identify the same way, but the word dyke is empowering to me. Would it be out of place to simply ask her if she said what you thought she did?

  • Unfortunately no we do not get along very well.

  • As hard as it may be I would ask her outright!! It's the only way your going to know if she actually said it!! Sometimes people say things that take your breath away and afterwards you do question yourself if they actually said what you heard . It also depends on weather your co worker is honest enough to admit it!! (If she said that!! )You know her character best!! You will never get away from the fact that some people are ignorant and thoughtless. If she did say it you need to tell her you found her comment offensive and innapropriate!! Does she know you are a lesbian?

  • Drop this encounter - you can't do anything about it now. DO keep a small notepad in your pocket and the next time ( there will be a next time ) write the exact words down immediately. Report the infraction to the HR department. Let them councel the person. Keep a running log of each infraction - you may have to use it in your defense in the future. Try not to get emotional about it - that's when you lose your power. Why? Because managers and up the food chain will try to use the excuse that you are too emotional and can't keep track of facts because of your emotions. Also, when you do hear words that are not appropriate, mention to the person that it's against company policy to use that language while at work. MAKE A NOTE in your pad of the day and time that you mention company policy to him/her. Covering your butt is essential with out of bounds people.

    Good luck.

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