So haven't been on in a few days. Teething baby and 4 year old has a urinary tract infection. I had been feeling a bit better. The doctor told me breast pain is a comfort it's rarely sinister, especially if it went away for a week and came back. She said its likely being caused by an ill fitting bra. Felt so stupid because my bra does actually dig into that boob as its my bigger boob! She also diagnosed a sinus infection and put me on antibiotics. That could account for the water that gushed out of my nose making me think I had a CFS leak. Could also account for the severe dizzyness and pain right down my forehead, nose and into teeth which made me think brain tumour! Tho I'd be lying if I said I'm having to try really hard not to Google sinus cancer. All this had helped ease my mind and I felt a bit better for a day or two. Last night tho and the night before the baby had me up and down all night and now I'm as bad as ever! Stomach churning, pains in arms and left shoulder blade, dizzyness is quite bad again and eyes just arnt right. Anyone else's symptoms get worse when they don't sleep right? Trying my best to stay calm I know this is anxiety. If it weren't it would never ease off. I'm determined not to let this consume me and ruin my life I've got way too much in life to be thankful for. I've got 3 beautiful kids, an amazing fiance, I've got family and the best friends and I'm planning my dream wedding which is booked for June 2016. After a difficult childhood I've managed to create the life I've always dreamed off and I WON'T let this ruin it! I know this is where my anxiety comes from. I feel like I was born to suffer and my life is too good to be true, I'm always waiting for something bad to happen and I'm terrified I'll have to leave my family. At the minute I can't see how it will ever get any better, it feels like one step forward and ten steps back but I'm not giving up! My kids deserve to have their happy, bubbly, fun Mummy back.
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