Hmmm

[Zobro]

Does anyone question them self if they feel well or if they do not and you become confused if you are. I have been doing much better but got derelisation and I feel not real like I am in a dream or I am just going to die. Not of anything specific just getting stressed about what if I die.

[Agora1]

Hi Zobro. I think everyone from time to time thinks about dying. When we are young, we can brush it away easier, but as we age, it becomes more of a reality. It's a part of life. The thing is when we have anxiety disorder as well as health anxiety, it tends to eat away at us more frequently, like everyday. I think that's where the derealization comes in. I am very aware of all my movements, almost like a dream or trance effect.

The minute I keep busy enough to take my mind off that feeling, I am normal for awhile.

Those are the moments I want to hang onto not "what if I die".

[allnew2me in reply to Agora1]

I'm sorry to stick my oar in especially unrelated to the original post. Your reply just struck a big chord with me.

I said pretty much the same thing in cbt today. I told her that if I keep myself busy I can be 'normal' again but I can keep busy 24 hrs a day. As soon as I stop the anxiety is there. She said how do you know it's there. I said well I can feel it. She said no, in the first place how do you know it's there. I said because the feelings are all in me and it's like I'm full of rocks or something I can't explain it I just feel it. She said that's because you have thought about it and reintroduced the cycle. I've tried to be aware of that this afternoon and evening and pay attention but I can't see it that way. Whether it's not the case or I just can't see it because it's my habit I don't know.

Just wondered what your take on it was. How do you know that your anxiety is there when you stop being busy?

I don't think I look for it I just know it's sitting waiting to pounce but I really don't know and it keeps going round in my head. I'm supposed to a sign that to worry time and pay it no more attention but I've not grasped that yet 😀 xx

[Agora1 in reply to allnew2me]

Hi dear, Like you, I know it's there. Maybe pushed aside while I'm keeping busy, but it's there. I feel it in my stomach, that all too familiar scared feeling. A few minutes ago, I was packing my trunk with the heavy bags of clothing that I accumulated cleaning closets this afternoon. I wasn't thinking anything, when all of a sudden while putting the bags in the car, I felt blackness overcome me. I stiffened up for a moment, parked the car and told myself I will go tomorrow to bring them to Amvets. My head is full, tight, dizzyheaded and my stomach has scared feelings. The "what ifs" are high. I certainly wasn't looking for trouble, it came to me uninvited. CBT is good but very physically and emotionally demanding. It stays with you long after the session, whirling around in your mind. You caught me at a good time to respond to this. All this takes time and even with that there may be slips backwards at times. We'll be okay. You, me and

the others here at the forum. xx

P.S. I walk around the house humming "This is our fight song" ......

[allnew2me in reply to Agora1]

Love this 😀.

I'm just the same it's just sat there nervy scared feeling like jumbled up butterflies and sometimes like I have rocks sat in my chest and bottom of my stomach.

I'm not sure if cbt differs between UK and US. I get half an hour a week for 6-8 weeks and we just about get talking about what this week's homework is and it's time to go. There seems to be no time at all xx

[Agora1 in reply to allnew2me]

Hi. I'm sure it's the same anywhere. It's work. Which is still making us think about our anxiety only positively.

It will help you. Remember, nothing comes easy.

Thinking of you

[dizzychar]

I do this all the time, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I always find something wrong 😩

[Agora1 in reply to dizzychar]

Sad but true.