I think I have MS

[AviaWallen]

Have been having some strange symptoms which I have been trying to ignore but it is getting to a point now where I am really worrying. Ringing in my right ear, a ball/patch of twinkling/flashing light in my left eye, bubbling sensation in my lower back and spine and feeling off balance or like im falling backwards when I take a step. I am doing strange things in work that I would not usual do and I forget absolutely everything. And my ability to spell and articulate myself has gone. I stutter all the time when I talk and I just do not feel normal, when I try and explain this to my mum she just tells me to exercise or see a counsellor but what if i ignore all of this and it turns out i have something serious??? I am so so worried I cry all the time because I am too scared to go hospital and be told I have something serious or something I have to treat for the rest of my life. But these symptoms I am having all together cannot just be my anxiety. Someone please help, I need advice as last time I went to my doctors she did not take me seriously I really want an MRI scan.

[AviaWallen]

I've had my eyes checked I have inflammation at the back of my eyes which the eye doctor has said can sometimes 'just happen' my GP doesn't take me seriously when I explain all my symptoms so I feel hopeless. But I really don't feel right..

[anxiousrecoverer]

I'm not a doctor and can't tell you whether or not it's MS - I can tell you that all of your symptoms could definitely be caused by anxiety as I have had them all too. I did get sent for a neurology screening but it was not because of these symptoms, it was because I was experiencing myoclonic jerks throughout the day and the dissociation I was experiencing was reminiscent of epileptic symptoms.

I don't know if this helps at all but it's another way of looking at it. Let's say it is MS. If it is MS, you have an incurable disease that is only managed through medication when it reaches a certain point (at first they do not treat - I'm going from a friend's experience here). So if it was MS, there would be no difference to your life. It would be picked up eventually, and then eventually it would be treated, but it wouldn't make much difference to you either way.

So maybe it is easier to examine what you are actually scared of? Let's say it is in fact MS, and you feel scared - what about it is making you feel scared?

[AviaWallen]

I am not sure what it is about it that scares me, reading your comment has changed my thought process on it completely. Maybe if i was diagnosed with MS I thought that I would end up paralised and helpless? I suffer from health anxiety quite badly and I have noticed during a traumatic time for me (e.g mum and dad getting a divorce) I seem to get symptoms that worry me, then a few weeks after I convince myself I am termanally ill. But it is trying to determine these symptoms all being part of my anxiety or wether I am genuinley ill. But thank you for your comment, I actually really love this website as perfect strangers like yourself manage to reassure me.

[anxiousrecoverer in reply to AviaWallen]

I also have difficulty deciding whether my symptoms are emotional or physical although I don't have health anxiety. My problem is almost the opposite in that I think 'it's probably just anxiety' and keep going and then I collapse! Haha! But what that tells me is that even when it is "just" anxiety you still need to rest and shouldn't keep pushing yourself, it's not to be ignored (as I always do).

I can understand fear of being paralysed - what a terrible way to be, right? - but even if you had MS there would be absolutely nothing you could do about it. Even if you are diagnosed with MS tomorrow your only job will be to try and accept the idea of progressive paralysis and that you have no control in the matter. You would have to learn to enjoy life anyway, wouldn't you? That's the only thing you would be able to do. How about every time you think "Maybe I have MS", you say to yourself: "You know, what, maybe I do. But there's nothing I can do about that, so I'm going to enjoy life anyway and if it does turn out to be MS they will pick up on it and I will find out eventually - at which point there will still be nothing I can do, and I will be in exactly the same position I am in now - so why make all of that worse by putting worry on top of it?". We can't control everything in life, but we can control how bad we make ourselves feel. Each time you worry, how about asking yourself: How does worrying actually help me? Isn't this just making things worse?