I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own thoughts

I keep having disturbing thoughts that make me want to crawl out of my skin and I'm so scared of them, scared of myself. I cry so much and I can't tell my boyfriend about my thoughts cause he's very volatile and wouldn't understand and it makes the anxiety even more that I can't talk to him about it because I love him so much and want to be able to go to him for anything. I want to open up about these thoughts but I'm so afraid people will look at me like I'm not normal. What if these thoughts don't go away? I'm so scared, I'm deathly afraid. I keep thinking of killing myself and I have no idea what to do. Please help.

6 Replies

  • Hello

    It can be very common when we are suffering with anxiety to have disturbing thoughts but that is what they are thoughts & the reason we feel so upset is because we know the thoughts are against our nature so we panic but if we can just try & say ok that thought was awful but I am going to ignore it , then the anxiety has less power & the thoughts will subside

    It would be more of a worry if you were getting unwanted thoughts & you thought that was normal or you liked them so try & be reassured that because they are upsetting you so much in a way is a good sign that you would not act upon them

    Are you getting any help with your anxiety ?

    Maybe at the moment it might not be the right time to tell your Boyfriend about these thoughts but have you told him about how you feel anxious , that could be a place to start confiding in him & I would also speak to my Doctor about how I was feeling , they won't judge you or be alarmed by anything you have to say but would offer support , maybe some counselling which would help you learn to deal with this

    Also you can always talk to the Samaritans 24/7 if you are feeling desperate as sometimes it can be a comfort to hear another human voice in times of distress & again they do not judge , there contact number is 08457 90 90 90

    I hope you get some more replies :-) x

  • Thank you so much I'm trying to ignore them but I just don't know what to do, I have told my boyfriend about my anxiety and he just didn't respond too well but it's understandable. The thoughts were so horrible yesterday that I had a nightmare about them and that scares me. But thank you so much for your reply it means the world to know people care and to know this is a normal part of anxiety, thank you.

  • if he is volatile... could be contributing towards your anxiety and thoughts....Ditch him.

  • I didn't really start having these thoughts or the constant anxiety till stuff with him and I started going down hill so that very well could be but at this point he's the only thing that makes me feel normal and happy and I really don't wanna lose him, I don't know what to do.

  • you do know what to do , you are scared lonely and frightened. Please see your Gp and get some counselling Hugs sweetheartxxx

  • Hi , your not alone there you have made a big step in trying to get help your not going mad more people have these feelings than you think so what your going threw happens to millions you can and will get better but you need to share even if you think it sounds silly you might be surprised how people will react if it's not positive you really don't need these people in your life at the moment you must stay strong see your gp then take it day by day it can be a long road but it's a road you will never be alone on good luck

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