Hello, I am not even sure if anyone will get to read this post but I thought sharing my thoughts might be a good idea. I have suffered from periods of anxiety for a long time. I have experienced many big changes in my life since the beginning of the new year - finishing university course as a mature student, looking for work and settling on going back to my old company despite my previous goal of changing a career.
I have also been dating a guy and feeling anxious about that too. I don't know what to do with my life and it seems that I am dumping that extreme uncertainly onto the relationship, questioning all the time whether he's good for me, whether I like him, whether I find him attractive etc. The stupid thing is that many of these thoughts are irrational because I do love being with him, I could spend the rest of my life talking to him, being intimate with him is amazing and sometimes I even picture us being together in the future in a serious way even though I have always been terrified of a long term commitment, having kids and getting married. I am finding these thoughts really distressing and despite having therapy I am not able to get rid of them and just go with the flow and see what happens.
I guess I am hoping for some support and word of encouragement. People suggested that maybe he is not the right for me but that doesn't feel right, I feel like I don't want to give him up and besides, my mind always seems to seek something to worry about, it's always been that way. Do people have problems like that at all or is it only me??