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Hello, I am not even sure if anyone will get to read this post but I thought sharing my thoughts might be a good idea. I have suffered from periods of anxiety for a long time. I have experienced many big changes in my life since the beginning of the new year - finishing university course as a mature student, looking for work and settling on going back to my old company despite my previous goal of changing a career.

I have also been dating a guy and feeling anxious about that too. I don't know what to do with my life and it seems that I am dumping that extreme uncertainly onto the relationship, questioning all the time whether he's good for me, whether I like him, whether I find him attractive etc. The stupid thing is that many of these thoughts are irrational because I do love being with him, I could spend the rest of my life talking to him, being intimate with him is amazing and sometimes I even picture us being together in the future in a serious way even though I have always been terrified of a long term commitment, having kids and getting married. I am finding these thoughts really distressing and despite having therapy I am not able to get rid of them and just go with the flow and see what happens.

I guess I am hoping for some support and word of encouragement. People suggested that maybe he is not the right for me but that doesn't feel right, I feel like I don't want to give him up and besides, my mind always seems to seek something to worry about, it's always been that way. Do people have problems like that at all or is it only me??

2 Replies

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  • Hello!

    Sharing your thoughts can only do you good, receiving advice can make you feel alot better.

    Firstly, don't feel down about going back to your old career. If you've only just finished uni there'll be plenty more opportunities to come, sometimes things take time (especially job/career wise), so there's no need to feel down about it right now.

    Feeling like you dont know what you can do with your life can be frustrating; if you're current job doesn't make you happy, I'd suggest finding a hobby that you enjoy to give you some positive leisure time.

    Since you're dating I'm assuming you've not been seeing this guy for very long. Perhaps your simply looking into things too much? Sometimes being attracted to someone in that way doesn't happen immediately, it may take abit of time but don't force yourself to feel like you want to be properly with him. If you do love spending time with him and can see yourself with him for a long time just keep dating him, enjoy how you are now and see how things go! Worst comes to worse and you're simply not attracted to him in that way, at least you'll have made a good friend in the process.

    Good luck and all the best!

  • Hello!

    Sharing your thoughts can only do you good, receiving advice can make you feel alot better.

    Firstly, don't feel down about going back to your old career. If you've only just finished uni there'll be plenty more opportunities to come, sometimes things take time (especially job/career wise), so there's no need to feel down about it right now.

    Feeling like you dont know what you can do with your life can be frustrating; if you're current job doesn't make you happy, I'd suggest finding a hobby that you enjoy to give you some positive leisure time.

    Since you're dating I'm assuming you've not been seeing this guy for very long. Perhaps your simply looking into things too much? Sometimes being attracted to someone in that way doesn't happen immediately, it may take abit of time but don't force yourself to feel like you want to be properly with him. If you do love spending time with him and can see yourself with him for a long time just keep dating him, enjoy how you are now and see how things go! Worst comes to worse and you're simply not attracted to him in that way, at least you'll have made a good friend in the process.

    Good luck and all the best!

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