Not a fun month at all!
Woke up at 4 am right now and I was listening to my heart when I noticed it goes
Ba thump ba thump and then dadadadadada ba thump ba thump dadadadadada
Is this right? I had my lil one next to me don't know if his pulse was going thru me, when he sleeps next to me I sometimes feel his, just another thing to worry about.
Usually when I feel all this craziness I run to the doctor but lately I'm afraid.
Afraid they'll tell me something is wrong.
I ve dealt with paranoia and health anxiety that sometimes I think I really am going crazy.
I don't have a supportive partner, or should I say my children's father, that even though they are his kids he won't take care of them while I go to therapy
And leaving the kids with family I get told by my siblings that I'm a nuisance to those family members for doing that and that it should be there dad doing that.
I know it is but when their father doesn't want to help I'm left having to cancel appointments.
It's a whole lot of drama with him and he causes it!! For someone that says wants no drama he's the one doing it, it causes stress because I'm always on edge trying to avoid an episode with him.
Maybe this is were my anxiety comes from??