even when i am happy

Even when I feel ok and coping with life.. i cry .. This is because I know it's not going to last.. The happy feeling the 'yes, I am well feeling'will go and be replaced with I can't even drive or wash up feeling .. i have tried every trick possible, but it's a fact I have to face.. This will never leave me.. i am dead inside . My whole life has been ruined by this illness .. All my dreams gone.. But you no what ..i still try and try I won't ever give up fighting this illness people can't see and refuse to understand


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5 Replies

  • Hi Wendy

    I have just replied to your other post & so sorry to read how you are feeling when I have read this one

    Sometimes I find the more I fight can be worse , if I can accept it then it seems to give the anxiety less control & fear but I do understand that when you have had good days how soul destroying it can feel when we seem to get low again

    I try & bank the good days & then when I am feeling down remember they are there & not lost for ever !

    We all understand on here how this feels so keep posting & talking to people that do know how you are feeling , it does help knowing you are not alone

    Take Care




  • Thank you for your kind words.. Plus, I love your advise 'bank the good days' I will start doing that .

  • Yes what a lovely concept, "Banking" the good days; I will write that in my little book which I use as a "toolkit" for when I'm feeling low.

  • hi wendy, so sorry your feeling so low, yes we all know that feeling when you feel dead inside, I don't know what meds you are taking, you might need a review of them, the banking is a good idea, save all the good times up & bring them back when you need them, take care & keep posting, love jasper xx

  • Yes wendy this can be very hard.I cry too.my anxiety is low at the minute,but I know it will come back,and knowing this makes me unhappy.i take an extra xanax on the bad days,its the only thing that helps,nobody or anything can make us better,only ourselves,so its good to sit down,sort our thoughts out,and relax..there is no cure for anxiety,but we can learn to control it,and live with it...its our own choice whether to lie down, and let it win,or jump up and say to ourselves,I am not going to let this take over my life ,because if we do,we will end up with nothing to live for,and life is too short for that...wouldn't it be worse if we were told we had a terminal illness ?..just something to think about...love Miarose xxx

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