Tough Day Today

Today has been hard. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to slope off to the loo to cry. What the hell is wrong with me?? I feel like it could be my job. My head and heart hurt although, perhaps the chest pain is from the jogging last night. I feel so lonely. I just want to be fixed.

Feel like feeling like this is all my fault, because I didn't take the PhD I was offered, because I hang in there waiting for boys for too long, for thinking too much about what people might think of me. Good Lord, all I want is to be happy and feel normal. Feels like this time is lasting forever, why hasn't it left me yet...

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and hopefully I'll be referred to a councillor. I wish she could just tap me on the head and fix me.

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