I'm new here. I've dealt with anxiety and depression to one degree or another for as long as I can remember. I'm currently taking prescribed medication as well as seeing a therapist and psychiatrist. These things help. But I still struggle. I am an introvert by nature and as a general rule I am OK with that.
I prefer solitary activities like reading, crafting and family history. None require a companion. However, I've always at least had a small circle of friends and/or one best friend. Several years ago, my best friend of close to forty years decided I didn't fit in with her new "lifestyle". The lifestyle provided to her by her new husband. A man who also felt I didn't fit in with his sort of people. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. It did. I didn't really care what he thought. I didn't like him. Though I kept that to myself at all times. But the fact that she suddenly felt this way was a punch to the gut.
That was nearly twenty years ago. I have friends but I don't have a best friend. And I'm older. Making new friends wasn't easy for me when I was younger, it's nearly impossible now that I'm on the other side of the big five-oh. My former best friendship was forged the summer before high school. We grew up together. We graduated from highn school together. We experienced first loves and heart ache together. We had babies around the same time. It was a friendship built on years and years of shared experiences and life events. Is it even possible to find that kind of friend at my age?
I have my family. One parent, by the Grace of God is still alive, a sibling, a niece, children and grandchildren. They are fabulous and wonderful and keep me from losing my mind regularly. However, my parent and sibling live some distance away. Enough to make visits more difficult. The kids and grands are closer, but they have lives and responsibilities. The niece is in college. I enjoy solitude but I also enjoy an afternoon of gossip and crafting or shopping or movie watching or whatever, with my best friend. Spending too much time alone amps up the anxiety and leaves me feeling more and more depressed. I've also recently decided to step away from all social media platforms. Simply for my mental health and well-being. I miss the few groups I was in (all private) related to some of my hobbies and also a support group setting. But the need to guard my mental health outweighed the need for those groups. I feel like I'm babbling. I found this forum via a Google search; thought I'd give it a try.
Struggling Friendship
Needing to just tweak thoughts about Longtime friend who walked away from friendship.
Struggling to take care of myself. Spiders!!!
Feeling sick and the blues follows
Depression presenting itself as irritability and anger.
