first time posting, looking for support and supporting others too 🙏🏼💜

[Jeff89]

I guess my journey began this time last year, I went through some description of spiritual awakening. I dabbled in tarot cards & found myself able to bring messages forward from peoples loved ones. I started to change through feeling really euphoric and buzzy.

I travelled to Bali for healing & other random holidays. My family were very concerned at my behaviours and overspending on credit cards etc. my mother has bipolar and has always been spiritual but equally diagnosed with bipolar.

she tried to take her own life shortly after I returned from my adventures.. my mood dropped. The feelings I felt previously to this where that I was doing the work of god..it all sounds ludicrous now I’m so low.. my mind is in constant fight or flight.

most days I think of how I would end it all, then crippled with anxiety of how I’ve ruined my life going bankrupt due to the spending.

I have a 3 year old son that I’m literally gripping on to dear life for so not to pass trauma on to him.

I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar and started Quetiapine 2 weeks ago.

just hoping there’s someone that can even begin to understand or even tell me there’s a way through this darkness and constant anxiety. Everyday is exhausting and I feel constant guilt for not being my happy self.

[Dolphin14]

Jeff89

Welcome to the community.

I'm sorry you are struggling. You will find many supportive people here.

It's good you have started medication. I hope it works for you and you can begin to have more balance in your life,

Are you in therapy?

You have a three year old This little one needs you. He will give you that push to work hard

🐬