Jokes: Woke up the other day with a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Jokes

17 Replies

Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face.

Had fallen asleep on my crossword.

Or

Why do dragons often sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights.

Or

Why do clowns wear loud socks?

To stop their feet from falling asleep.

Or

What dinosaur makes the most noise when he is asleep?

Tyrannosnorus.

17 Replies
Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123

Here's some jokes about flying:

I was on a plane once. It was apparently during a big soccer match. The pilot came over the PA system and announced who won. Next thing I knew, the lady next to me leaned in and said, "now we know what the pilot's been doing instead of flying the plane...."

Do you know how pilots get a plane in flight to lean to one side, and then, seconds later, lean to the other side? They pretend to be driving a sightseeing bus full of tourists. "And on the left, a beautiful display of the Northern lights can be seen". And then on the right....well, nothing. Back to the left".

I was stretching in the aisle. Someone asked me what I was doing. I responded that it was my calisthenics hour...

I'm glad plane seats have TVs for entertainment. Sometimes it's not needed, though, especially if the person sitting in front of you is acting out a Jackie Chan fight scene in his sleep.

in reply toAlpakka123

You’re awesome for laughs 😂 😂 😂 ♥️ 🫂 🌟

Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123 in reply to

Forgot one. When the plane is backing out of its gate, my husband always likes to crack the following joke:"Think we should tell the pilot that he's going the wrong way?"

in reply toAlpakka123

That one had me cracking at the side !!😂

Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123 in reply to

Oh, sorry! That can hurt.

in reply toAlpakka123

Lol I was laughing so hard. But good 👍

Zhangliqun profile image
Zhangliqun in reply toAlpakka123

An old lady stuck her head in the cockpit on deboarding after a rough landing:

"Did we land or were we shot down?"

Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123

In my opinion, in flight meals have gotten better over the years. Every once in a while though, I still have the following conversation with my husband:

"What did you get?"

Well, it's supposed to be tortellini, but I have my doubts"

in reply toAlpakka123

That’s brilliant one !! 😆

Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123 in reply to

Yours are awesome too! I want to acknowledge that!

in reply toAlpakka123

🤩💟🌟🫂💙

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Lol I enjoy your posts Vonus :) xx

in reply toAgora1

🫂🌟💙❤️🌼🌺

CL3V3R-G1RL profile image
CL3V3R-G1RL

😂😂😂

Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.

What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide

What do you call a dog who meditates? Aware wolf

How is my wallet like an onion 🧅? Every time I open it, I cry 😭 😂

in reply toCL3V3R-G1RL

😂 😜 😂 🧡 ♥️ ⭐️

Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123

What's one reason people's arms get tired?They fly long distances.

in reply toAlpakka123

😂!!

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