How is someone, vulnerable to abandonment by their own family, worth anything themself?

[Ekpoezi]

My family left me at a homeless shelter. If the location had neither waiting list nor called my parents back, I would've been abandoned. My family disowns me: they cast me off for "choosing" to be lethargic, flat-affected, anhedonic, etc.

So why not kill myself? Any symptom of my condition is demonized as an implicit and willful prompt to have my own family throw me away as unwanted garbage. Then they tell me afterwards "they love me," though they only came to recollect this trash they had already deemed unrecyclable because the shelter wouldn't have me! As though I could ever love them in turn anymore, having gaslit and victim-blamed me too many times to count?!

How can someone choose both to beget a child and to cast them off abandoned? And yet they maintain the lie of "unconditional love for me". Of what worth is a life saturated with the bitterness of such events; or, of what worthlessness is a death free from the duplicity of such a love?

[Dolphin14]

Ekpoezi

I'm not sure how old you are. Maybe it's time to break away from the family.

Sometimes we have to do that and find our own way.

I'm sorry you have suffered and that they hurt you.

🐬

[CLB1125]

IM sorry you were put through that. It sounds like they acted out of ignorance. They probably do love you very much but don’t understand what you are experiencing.

[catsrock]

I'm so sorry. I too have abandonment issues with my family and they have been gaslighting me my whole life. You are worthy of having a happy life and the more you can work on self-care, the better off you will be. You can give yourself what your family couldn't or wouldn't.

[Jackelope]

Greetings

Would you like to elaborate on anything?