Second Chance?

[bobaenjoyer563]

Hi. So about a year ago I entered my first year of college and did horribly due to my debilitating depression and anxiety. It was to the point I felt so ugly and stupid that I did not want to be seen or heard. That eventually led to the first time in my life that I failed a class/multiple classes and initially I got dismissed from my program. Due to my illness being real and documented by my healthcare providers, I was able to come back on an academic probation, fortunately. I listened to some of your comments on my last post last year, and dropped the childish way I thought about relationships in college and got help. Happy to say it does not bother me anymore. However, what I am concerned with is my mental and intellectual capacity and capability. I have never thought of myself as intelligent despite the academic feats I have accomplished over the years (I attribute it to hard work and mostly luck I think). Analytical skills, learning new topics, and understanding them in a short amount of time has never been possible for me. These skills are important to master for college. I am going into my third week and have a major quiz and exam coming up. Despite practicing problems over and over, I still make stupid mistakes and can't find intelligent questions to ask my TA's or professors. Tutoring me would be a nightmare for the person trying to help me. It's like teaching a kindergartener Integral Calculus. It's always "I don't know where to start" and my brain goes foggy as they explain. Whereas other people in my class are so incredibly smart and complete these problems and understand concepts with ease and minimal help. What we are doing right now are basic, fundamental things for the course and are cumulative over time, which does not help. I am considering getting a brain scan to see if there is anything wrong with my brain function. If it is not my mental illnesses stopping me from doing well and succeeding, it's my lack of intellect that will. This is my last chance to make something of myself. That is something I cannot change...

[Dolphin14]

bobaenjoyer563

I'm very sorry that you are struggling.

Have you seen a psychiatrist for a diagnosis? Done any cognitive testing?

I wouldn't rule out a tutor. I know there are tutors that have a lot of experience in breaking down study habits and helping you learn skills for test taking and how to utilize your study time.

College is a big change from high school. Don't give up on yourself

🐬

[Sunrisetabby]

Depression can cause cognitive impairment. Brain scans are typically not very helpful. For what it's worth, I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and a mild cognitive impairment among other maladies. Have you spent any time focusing on how to learn? Coursera, among others, has a free class on learning how to learn. I personally enjoy and have used some of Jim Kwik's methodologies - I highly recommend his book Limitless. A lot of his material is available by free and I like his use of acronyms, including FAST and FASTER regarding learning. The key to learning is to Forget what you don't know. bigthink.com/business/learn...

Also, especially when you are so young, but absolutely as long as you are breathing, please be assured that there is always another chance. Putting pressure on yourself tends to not be helpful. Sleep as well as possible, get some exercise, and eat healthy. Those three things will allow you to feel better, look better, and most importantly - think better.