I want it, but can’t do it

[sad_watermelon]

I really want to move on and forget him. The feelings I have towards him are anger and disappointment. I don’t want to feel anything. I want him to not exist for me. I want it so bad. But why can’t I do it? I can’t see anything stopping me and still no full success. Why?

[b1b1b1]

Because you still care about him.

[sad_watermelon in reply to b1b1b1]

Why? He gave me all the reasons to not care about him. I guess you are right, I do care if I write all of these posts. But it’s so confusing! I hate him for what he did, I want to revanche him, make him feel bad as I did, because all he did hurt so bad and he, he was watching me falling apart and smiling. I suffer because of him and he doesn’t even care! Why would I still care about such a person ?? How do I stop caring?

[Mayumi_ in reply to sad_watermelon]

I had the same and I have the same question🥹🤗I hope one day our pain will fade

[photographyhoop]

I am so empathetic to your situation, its a hard thing to move on from someone, especially when you care so much that the pain is worse. Grief is one of the worst things anybody can go through and learn through. It probably sounds cliche but time, and if your open to letting yourself feel those real feelings of dissapointment. Its about taking those and turning it around to the strength you have. You're going to feel, its the horrible simplicity of a situation. However, learning to not let it overtake is hard. I went through a very bad breakup a few years ago at 20 and it wasn't clear cut, I didnt think I wanted it to end when it was forced too. I broke for weeks, but I spent time everyday going back to what was making me happy, (it got easier when he moved out and I didnt have the constant reminder in my kitchen every morning). It took me a long time to feel confident and live my day without a reminder of him. I reset, it was one of the hardest things I have done probably to date and I hear you and your feelings right now. Breathing through all the hard moments and simply learning to pick yourself up after, even something as simple as when it gets hard and you let yourself feel it, remind yourself why you are better off little things about how the previous worries might be gone or even a cup of tea on the couch helped me to reset when the thoughts or memories got overwhelming. Give yourself time x

[sad_watermelon in reply to photographyhoop]

And how was it going after? Could you trust to love again?

[photographyhoop in reply to sad_watermelon]

It took me a long time, I spent months working on just being and doing things that made me happy when I did them. I was in a bad place for a long time, but now Ive met an amazing man and our relationship is the healthiest and most supportive. It took me a long time to trust things would be happy even when I met him but time and time again he stood by me and supported me when we hit a rough patch or my own health got too much for me. Were now together officially and work everyday to choose each other. There is a whole amazing life ahead, what I learned from my own situation is that those gut feelings you have are usually true but it also helped me communicate so much better going forwards, because I spent time learning what I wanted slowly and steadily. I am sorry you are going through this but there is happy moments out there its just about trusting yourself that taking things one day and one moment at a time will work. Take it slowly x

[sad_watermelon in reply to photographyhoop]

Thank you so much! You really give me hope! I am so happy for you!

[photographyhoop in reply to sad_watermelon]

Thank you The one thing I will say is trust yourself that you will be okay, and give yourself time x

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Breaking up is hard. You do go through a grieving period. Just like any other loss. It's the loss of a possible future with him, loss of the idea of who you thought he was, loss of your time you spent with him that you won't get back and loss of a partner and the reality of being single once again.

It's amazing how quickly we can adjust to things. We can be "okay" being single for a time. Then we find ourselves in a relationship and suddenly they just become part of our life. When that ends, it's hard to just suddenly go back to being by yourself again.

This too shall pass. But like everything it will take time. Talking about it helps. Eventually you will get to the point where you realize you went a whole day without thinking about him. You are going to be like "Huh? That's interesting." Then you know you finally let go.

Wishing you healing and peace 🫂❤️

[sad_watermelon in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I already had a few days where I didn’t talk or think about him. The problem is that we ended on good terms 4 months ago. We both wanted to stay friends. But he started getting distant. Then I saw he removed me from his social media like we don’t know each other. It hurt me. Maybe staying on good terms wasn’t the right idea.

Thank you for your kind words!

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to sad_watermelon]

No, staying on good terms is fine. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. It seems as though he is moving on. If he removed the photos of you too from his social media, that's pretty common. Most people tend to do that so to avoid awkward conversations later when they are dating again. Because most people do not like it. If they have photos of their ex on their social media. Then there's some people that don't care about those things. They are secure in themselves and understand that their partner had a a life before they met them. However, that is very rare these days. Most people yeah don't like the idea if you're friends with your ex.

And of course this sucks for you because you had an understanding that You and him parted amicably than we could still remain friends. You seem like you understood that he was going to need some space. And you allowed him that and even yourself to go through the transition of not being in a relationship anymore. And now that enough time has passed, you would like to hit him up on social media and say hey. Hey how's it going. But as you put it, he seems now distant and has removed you from his social media. And that hurts you. Because you also lost a friend.

And now the grieving process is going on again. And I'm sorry about that.

Sending you healing and love 🫂❤️

[sad_watermelon in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thank you for your words.

Actually, he has 0 posts on social media. He only uses it to chat. I used to have 0 too. When we broke up, I posted 2 times, just pictures associated with me and my hobby (theatre). I think this is the reason for him to block me. He didn’t want to see the photos. It makes sense, because while we were dating and even after the breakup he has said terrible things to me just because I posted stories. He has called me stupid, ugly and so on and hurt me so bad with this. So I think he blocked me, then he realised he can’t text me if I’m blocked and unblocked me, which leads to my situation. Before that he was nice to me and all and the second I moved abroad for univers he stopped texting me. Didn’t even wish me luck (he knew how afraid I was of the whole thing).

Anyways, I think he’s just not mature enough to handle a friendship after breakup. Or he hadn’t moved on and this is his way to do it. Good for me I guess, because a real friend wouldn’t insult me for some photos on social media and won’t remove me from their life like this. I don’t want to text him first. I am looking forward with my head up and I will be dedicated to my studies, future and fun!

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to sad_watermelon]

Yeah you are much better off. To call you stupid and ugly because he's upset tells you all you need to know about him. He's not mature. As like he did with his social media, blocked you after saying let's be friends. But on an impulse blocked you then realized he can't message you when he decides he feels like it.

You are right friends don't treat each other like that.

So it's a good thing he did block you. He did you a favor. You don't need that negativity in your life.

You deserve so much love and respect! So enjoy your studies without distractions and have fun!

Wishing you healing and love 🫂 ❤️