my depression has become unbearable to the point I can’t function normally anymore and I have no help available. I seriously don’t know what to do. I genuinely feel unstable but don’t have any feelings of harm so I’m not severe enough to be admitted to an inpatient facility and there’s no other options for me right now. my hospital does have a partial hospitalization program where you spend 4 hours a day doing group therapy but I don’t have FMLA so I’m unable to take the time off work to do it. I really don’t know how to get help.
It sounds insane but since my relationship ended a little over a week ago I’ve felt completely empty inside like I have nothing to live for anymore. That was the one thing in my life that was keeping me going and I was dumped. I’m still in love with this person but they don’t want me and we no longer have any contact. I feel so abandoned and pathetic for letting myself get this codependent on someone. Everyone keeps telling me “focus on yourself” “pour that love and energy into yourself” but I literally feel like I can’t. I feel like I don’t deserve it. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’ve completely isolated myself from all my friends which makes me feel guilty because they know I’m having a hard time and they’ve reached out to me being supportive and I just ignore it. how did I end up here? I’m seriously hanging on by a thread and it’s actually starting to really worry me that I can’t pull myself out of this.
I don’t have thoughts of suicide but I can’t find any purpose in my life right now. I’m completely apathetic and anhedonic yet still have to put on this mask like everything’s fine and force myself to go to work. And then even at work I can’t concentrate on anything and my performance is suffering and I’m terrified I’m going to get in trouble or get fired. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Someone please tell me you’ve hit rock bottom like this before and were able to overcome it. This is the lowest I’ve ever been in my entire life and I’m scared.
Written by
frailstateofmind44
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I was in similar situation so I can relate to whatever you have written.
From my experience, I would say don't rush healing and don't expect immediate relief. You have lost something valuable so give time to yourself, not like being positive or pretend to be happy, rather Sit with that feeling of grief, it is there for a reason. Grief is a process with stages and acceptance comes later, so believe that you will be able to reach that acceptance but not right now. One week time is very short for that. So if crying helps cry, if journaling helps journal. Goal is just to keep your thoughts separate from you.
Remember thoughts are not fact, especially negative ones. When relationship fails, mind makes up stories to make sense of that loss, it is not necessary that those stories are true. Mind can lie too. So with this approach, don't believe everything your mind says. Whenever you are having negative thought about yourself and about your breakup, distance yourself, say "I am having a thought that.... <put thought here> " This way you will see that your identity is separate from your thoughts and once you create such distance you will see changes in feelings too. Content of our thoughts determine how we will feel, while we can't directly change feelings we can have control on our thoughts.
Another thing, It is okay to feel hurt when loss happens. It is possible that you'll be blaming yourself for whatever happened with that relationship of yours, but here you can make some perspective changes to feel better. Treat yourself with kindness like you would to you best friend in similar situation. Take baby steps. I know for sure that you will be able to handle these experiences, just give yourself time and space.
I think the answer from Username1114 is very good. I just wanted to say that you should try to eat, or at least drink, make yourself a cup of tea with a little honey in it or something, just so you give your body what it needs. And when you can't sleep, put on some calm music and just lie down, giving your muscles some time to rest. I know it is awful to feel like you don't deserve anything. I don't think it helps if I tell you it isn't true, so never mind that. You feel the way you do, right now. And the next minute, you probably feel the same way. But it will change, it will be slow, but you won't feel like this for ever.
hi frail, I am sorry that you are feeling so low... I quit my job a couple years ago because I felt too overwhelmed by life. I had two kids and one on the way at that point. I wished I was dead every day...
I got in to an inpatient place and turned things around. I still have a lot of work to do. It was a financial hit, but so much better than wishing I was dead. I know you're not at that point, and I hope you don't have to get there.
We really do have to be nice to ourselves, why we would reserve kindness for all the other humans? I am still working on this and get emotional when I think about being able to say "I am nice to myself." I am working on the self-compassion work by Kristin Neff and recommend the workbook. I would also recommend the "Get out of your mind and into your life" book on acceptance therapy by Stephen Hayes and the "Feeling Great" Book by David Burns. You can probably find youtube videos about all three to see if you think one might work for you. I suggest all the reading if you don't want to or can't get in to therapy or find some other in-person support. I am all in on therapy and highly recommend it if you can find any way to do it. If one therapist doesn't work then feel free to try another.
Again, I am so sorry frail. It is so hard to suffer and go on living at times. There is hope for us. There are days when we want to get up in the morning. You are not alone. You have worth no matter what. Sending love and hope ☮️
I'm so sorry you're going through this. As a previous person said, unfortunately it's a process we have to go through before we start to heal. You shared your situation and feelings so beautifully, and I hope it helps to know you have so many people on this site sympathising and wanting to comfort and help. If it helps, do continue to share - we're here for you. xxx
even though it may feel uncomfortable and what you think you don’t want. Talk to or get together with your friends. We all need a support group of some sort. We’ve all been through break ups and what you are feeling is part of the grieving process when a relationship ends. Good luck and I hope you find peace.
In just abut everybody's life there is at least one episode of this; the breakup with the person you had become most close to, and thought it would go on forever.
In my 76 years it has happened to me3 or 4 times; I'm by nature a sloppy romantic, but it's rather like grieving after a death; I'm not saying time heals, but time clouds the pain over and allows us to forget it for awhile, so it becomes less noticeable. it takes different forms in people.
There are times when it will come back into focus, for instance passing a spot where you had treasured memories , even looking through photographs can do it. Try to keep the happy memories, but let the less happy ones recede into the past.
For instance , I was looking at Google maps the other day, and I decided to look up the town I was raised in. I found the old house, and that looked pretty much the same as I remember it, but then I went looking around the town itself! What a shock! The sports arena is now a housing estate, despite the fact that it was to remain as a sporting venue for all time! My old high school had lost a large lump of land and the roads had been changed around it. In my mind, it should have been the same, but it had changed almost out of recognition since I was last there! The riding school I attended is now a Golf course!
I realise time and the world has to change, but it has put me off looking up the places I used to know and love.
People and places change, it's the natural order of the world.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
I can’t do this anymore
I can’t sleep anymore 
Realization of depression
I feel like my life is going nowhere.
Feel like i’m going to snap
