starting day 3: it’s been 3 days since... - Anxiety and Depre...

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starting day 3

frailstateofmind44 profile image

it’s been 3 days since I was broken up with and I’m really gonna try my best to not cry today. I can’t stand this feeling of grieving someone who is still very much alive and existing so close to me (I literally live a block away from him) but I can’t reach out. even when it’s all I want to do. I feel like I’ve been abandoned and I can’t shake the feeling. I just moved into a new apartment a month ago and I’ve been having to sleep at my parent’s house because I’m afraid to be alone with myself. can someone please tell me this pain goes away because I can’t see a light at the end right now.

everyone in my life (family, friends, coworkers) have all been telling me “it wasn’t meant to be” “time to move on” “focus on yourself” “he wasn’t good for you” and I know they’re just trying to be supportive, but I can’t stand hearing it right now because my feelings towards him haven’t changed yet and I’m still very much invested. I guess I just wish I could talk to someone who gets it and validates my feelings instead of trying to convince me it’s for the best. maybe after some time I will come around and start to agree but right now I’m sick of hearing it.

how do I move on from this and let this person go when my feelings for them are still so strong? and how do I stop wishing he’ll come back? I don’t want to give myself this false hope but it seems to be the only thing holding me together right now. I’m so impatient and don’t want to deal with this pain anymore.

thank you for letting me vent. just getting these words out helps me a lot I think and hopefully I will start to move on soon.

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frailstateofmind44
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2 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi frailstateofmind44, believe me in that the light is shining brightly at the end of the

tunnel. It's trying to guide you to a new path. Unfortunately, the light alone can't do it

for you. Only you have the power (when ready) to put one foot in from of the other and

take that first step forward. Action after allowing yourself to grieve will give you the peace

of mind you need and deserve. Emotions and feelings are strong when it comes to love.

If someone doesn't want you than that's on them. We can't rationalize why another walks

away. But we can accept what we are able to change and that is ourselves.

Right now, nothing I say will mend your heartache but Time can. I'm sorry dear this happened

to you as well as many others on this forum. :) xx

Amiwrong profile image
Amiwrong

hi. I felt this deeply. My ex left in 2014 and although I cannot tell you how long the worst of it lasted, but it was extremely difficult. I remember laying in a tight fetal position for days. I was a zombie going about day to day. I would be holding back tears all. Day. Long. For god knows how long. I would take breaks at work just to release some tears. My eyes would be swollen and red as I dealt with the public. I even cried in my boss’s office! I did not know how I would survive the pain. But I did. What helped the most? Time. Honestly, it was telling myself that the cycle had to evolve and only time will get me to the end. The cycle meaning the divorce grief process. Knowing I was supposed to go through those steps in order to come out of it as healthy as possible helped. I also knew that my ex was a big part of my day to day life which meant he occupied a great deal of my brain space and so I had to re-fill that space. I tried to keep as busy and occupied as possible so time would pass. Oh and I cut off my long hair and dyed it blonde lol. I think it was symbolic of letting go some of the extra weight that was on my shoulders for years.

So I guess what im trying to say is that I understand, what you are feeling is normal (at least in my world) and that you take one day at a time and it won’t stay this way.

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