It's all coming back. All hope lost. I am barely making it where I'm at. It's impossible to get a job in the degree I received. I wasted time opening myself up to someone who doesn't care about me. All the applications I've submitted, denied. And all the time I've put into this person, spent. I quit smoking and now leaned into drinking. And I'm not a drinker at all. Especially because of my father. But, hey, I think I'm getting it now. I feel like I can never be happy. Nothing ever goes right. I'm barely eating. I feel so lost and so messed up. I haven't felt depressed in a long time. And here I am. Back where I started. But even worse. I wake up with anxiety attacks at this point. I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be alright. Because I am ready to go full rouge and just say bye to everything.
Losing all Hope: It's all coming back... - Anxiety and Depre...
Losing all Hope
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It took a long time for me to get a job in my field after college. The girl I was dating at the time was going through the same thing and we would compare how many rejection letters we were getting. I was fortunate that a college friend got me in the door in my field. A couple years ago I had got laid and was really depressed. I had no energy to even look for a job (I hate interviews). I got called back and from there I made contacts for another company which paid more and I like much better.
Hang in there. It is easy to get discouraged, depressed and have anxiety. I have been there twice but things ended up okay. Keep putting yourself out there. Are you on LinkedIn? Not sure which career path you are on but there are job shops that contract you out for work. I did substitute teaching until I found my first job. That made for an interesting experience.
As far as the guy, yeah, it is scary opening up to someone and becoming vulnerable. Don't beat yourself up for that because you did something that takes courage. If he didn't respond or show concern that is on him.
You're going to be okay. This is a rough time for you, but you can get through it. You deserve to be happy 😊