Feeling alone

Recently, I became unemployed along with one of my best friends. We started hanging out everyday since we're usually workaholics and this was the first time we felt free. However, she recently met a guy and now they spend everyday together. Although I am very happy for her, it does make me sad because it feels like I'm losing my friend. I've never felt like this before because I just got out of a longterm relationship, but now I just feel alone. I don't really know many people here since I just moved here not too long ago. How do you deal with this feeling? Everyone keeps telling me to not take it personal because she's not doing it intentionally, it's just she prefers to spend all of her time with him right now.

[hypercat54]

I have a friend and we used to see each other every week or 10 days. Until that is a couple of years ago and now she spends all her free time with her partner. Like you I was dropped like a stone.

I just think if it ever goes wrong then I will not be available for friendship again as I am no ones convenience to be picked up then dropped again. No way.

[Spud-u-Like1982]

I'm in a similar situation to yourself, not just in unemployment, but a friend just turning away from me.

My friend got married last year after knowing his now wife for 7 or 8 years. It was his first long term relationship and before her he was a chronic user of women, who cared nothing about their feelings and only his own gratification. I found it abhorrent and he couldn't understand why I chose to pursue relationships instead. I've known him 24 years and the cracks began to appear after his partner came on the scene. She would judge my views, jokes I made and horror films I watched. What was normally a boys night on a Friday became a judgement night - with me on trial. Since marrying they adopted a baby girl.

He's aware I've had a nervous breakdown and going through diagnosis for ADHD and potential Autism, as well as the breakup of my own 7 year relationship and he has just ignored me. I think if a friend is quick to drop you or ignore you like that, it shows how important we are to them because 'we'll always be there...'. I won't be there for my friend anymore. I realise the child will take up alot of his time, but I also know he meets with his other friends, who have always taken priority over me, because he doesn't like the fact i'm tee-total.

My advice would be to just wash your hands of her and hopefully you will make some other friends who are actually deserving of your time and effort. It doesn't make the situation any easier though.

[bethelbee]

Can you talk to her and tell her you're happy for her and her new relationship but you miss hanging out and wish you could spend some time together?? If she was any kind of a friend she would make time for you too.