hey there

[flowers269]

new here. not sure how helpful this will be to me cause i'm 'chronically online' and have many spaces where i write into a void. maybe this will be different because y'all actually read this. i think that's part of my issue, feeling like community isn't really real. that when i say things people aren't listening to me, or i'm not listening to them because i don't believe the things they are sharing with me. i wonder when i shut the ability to comprehend loving connection and communication out?

i'm very quick to accuse people of not wanting to love me. of not seeing me or valuing me when what they're doing is explicitly that. that probably has something to do with chronic onlineness, again. lacking the experience in which i see people's faces and body mannerisms in response to me. yeah.

[Downinil]

Hi flowers269! I can relate to your message. You aren’t alone here.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Howdy flowers269

You are among friends here. I lived my life online as a teenager. I suffered from generalized anxiety and agoraphobia. So since I didn't leave the house all that much. How could I make friends or explore? It took me like a year or so of finally joining an online fan forum. There I made friends.

However people who I thought were in my friends circle turned out not to be. Hard pill to swallow knowing that people an be shallow and jerks just like in person as well.

But I still made real friends. Some I have met in real life and others I haven't even met but still talk with to this day.

Besides trying to fill a void after being closed off from the world. I was also closed off from my family. My parents didn't quite understand my anxiety and agoraphobia. Nobody ever really paid attention to me because I was the baby in the family. My voice was always discredited, not valid or just plain ignored.

Here you will find support when you need it. I know it has been there for me.

Wishing you healing and peace 🫂 ❤️