Stop crying...He doesn't deserve it

[sad_watermelon]

This is going to be long, I'm sorry, but I have to let it out.

If you aren't familiar with my situation: I broke up on good terms with my boyfriend after 20 months of relationship and now we're friends. But he's being rude sometimes and he's a mama's boy (his mom is the only person he has in his family and he stays with her all the time, he's 18 and wants to move to university with her, when we were in a relationship he wanted us to live with her when I graduate university, he wanted to travel only with her and never without her, he always prefers her company, even though we haven't seen eachother for weeks (same thing when we were dating, that's why I ended things) I was the only one fighting for the relationship and because I truly believed we could fix things I wanted to talk to him after I ended things over text and when he came I said that we could be fine and then he said he's tired of loving me and wants to be good friends the next day he said he doesn't feel bad because of the breakup)...

Anyways, now I find myself crying again because of the chat we had.

Context: for the 100th time I ask him to see him on his day off, but this time the excuse is that a family friend called George will come to visit

Me: say hi to George

Him: he's not comming

Me: why? So then maybe I can come 😂

Him: no. You can't.

Me: why so rude 😂 but it's all clear anyways

Him: what's clear?

Me: that you don't wanna see me. You just never say it

Him: oooo 😡

Me: so I'm right? Then why couldn't you just tell me, I would've understood

Him: *seen*

Me: I just want to know why you're doing this, I want to understand your feelings

Him: I just want to be with mom 🥺

I understand he has such a special relationship with her and that's why I always propose to him to see him at his place for a few minutes, juts to hang out for a while, because in 2 weeks I'll be travelling abroad for university. I haven't seen him for a month, but he texts me every day.

Now I'm crying because..... I don't know why I'm even crying! It hurts me. All of this hurts me and he doesn't deserve any of these tears. He doesn't deserve me talking to him, but why I can't stop myself from answering his chats, why I can't block him. Sometimes I think that it would've been better if we ended on bad terms and we didn't talk to eachother....

[gajh]

You are right. He does not deserve you. I am glad you will be going to university and having something new to distract you.