I feel insane rage, overthinking, impulsive decisions and then overthinking them (i feel bad i sold grandpa's tickets😭)

[Against_the_current]

I think the real reason of my anger is that I feel unloved. Don't make me the villain for hating the baby. I lost the love of my parents and sister. I went so insane that i even lost all friends and love interests. I'm just a villain nobody loves. I'm a human, i deny it but i need to be loved. I was so anxious that i ditched the job and the tickets but I'm just terribly mentally ill. That's why I'm trying so hard and paying so much to get proper treatment because this mental illness will ruin my life. I was a gifted student. Now im a psychopath. Just because there's nobody to hug me. I'm crying. I'm sorry if im spamming. I'm pathologically alone and deprived of love

[Alpakka123]

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry for making you feel that. I'm trying to help, but I see I've made it worse. Take some deep breaths and drink some water. It's hard since we don't know each other to know what triggers the other person. And then online only makes it that much worse since we only get the words and don't hear the emotions behind them, etc. Words alone can seem cold when they aren't intended to be. I see now that you're triggered easily (not a criticism but an observation).

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Don't worry. Right now I'm deprived of love so any care and attention is welcome. I'm grateful to you. I know you had no bad intentions. Just the human soul is tricky. I really need all the care i can get. So thank you for being here 🙏

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

It sure is, isn't it? (About the human soul being tricky). Thanks for your words.☺️

[Starrlight]

❤️💛💜 ♥️ you are not a psychopath ; the definition does t fit you. Wish I could hug ya irl

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Me too 😭😭🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🤗🤗. I'm dying for a hug and understanding. I'm love-deprived. I'm just a human

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

((((((((((( ✨ ((((((((hug))))))) ✨)))))))))

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Hug

[gajh]

Try to give yourself love. Give yourself a hug. Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze. Get a teddy bear to hug. Give yourself self compassion not judgement.

[Starrlight in reply to gajh]

❤️ I do these things too from time to time

[gajh in reply to Starrlight]

I love my teddy bear

[Starrlight in reply to gajh]

I just love it 🥰

[Against_the_current in reply to gajh]

Okay

[CLB1125]

you have to ask yourself why do I hate this baby? you say because you lost everyone's love. As a parent I can tell you your father didn't stop loving you because of the baby, parents love all their children. In different ways of course because each child is different. Can you only love one person at a time? or can you love your mom and your sister at one time? Then why do you think your sister loves the baby and not you? She is capable of loing you both. how old is this baby? From reading your posts it sounds more like jealousy. I'm not making you a villian. I am trying to make you think. Could it be you are just jealous because the members of your family now share their love with the baby? You are an adult now. A parent shifts their attention to the little children when one of their children becomes an adult. Your father has shifted his attention to the baby because she needs nurturing to grow just as you did at that age. But he did not stop loving you.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

It ruined my mental health and made mom alcholic. While everyone is trying to say it's jealousy. No, it just fvcked my brain and mom's brain

[CLB1125 in reply to Against_the_current]

I’m going to bow out now. This comment is just triggering for me. Good luck with everything.

[Zhangliqun]

Do you have a diagnosis?

[Against_the_current in reply to Zhangliqun]

GAD, SAD, depression, cptsd