Today's feeling is much like that of anyone depressed 🤢 and truly sick ..Imagine an ocean , water that is deep and cold , made up of disappointments and missed opportunity , people you've loved and lost,poor choices justified as addictions, worse choices perceived as self destructive behaviors. I am submersed and at the surface . Skies above are dark and ominous.
Every ocean has waves , large or small . The waves of all this dark liquid, crash over me , undulations as "ups and downs" . Pain persists as it's washed over me as I fight and gasp to exist. This is existence is exhausting and difficult to maintain sanity when it seems drowning would be easiest. The many life changes that accompany this existence, seem to repeat , missed opportunity, lost love (divorce) ,spirals, an awakening to try to surface above the darkness that surrounds me to live happily. Then a wave of tidal proportions crashes as a reminder that am I the ocean and this is my mental health, this is my definition of awareness, and my everyday life.
Tread above the dark water! This is my wish to those that may relate to this. Below the surface is where I now swim 😒
Been stuck in a deep depression for weeks now
Random waves of loneliness and suicidal thoughts..
Slipping into a deep rut again
Barking at the waves.
Depressed and in menopause 
