Tough spot

[MollyMarie]

Well, as I mentioned before, my brain fog is so much better, HOWEVER, my daughter who is over 60 lives has lived with me for over 5 years. Back then she had sort of a breakdown, got herself fired from a job she had had for many years, didn't tell anyone, lost her apartment, gave away most of her possessions, moved into her car, had that repossessed, then couch surfed with her former husband, had her remaining possessions stolen when she left them outside a big box store (?). Her brother picked up on her problem when she wanted to house sit for him. He brought her to me for help for her. She has lived with me since. (I have tried my best to get help for her, which I have gotten some. It is almost impossible to get the type of help she really needs. Bottom Line, I'm living with a person who has narcissistic tendencies, Has developed real memory problems, Appears to live in her own reality, etc. THUS: Stress for me. I'm about at my wits end. I cannot discuss anything of importance with her, She immediately vocally interperates everything I say to fit her screwed up thinking and it is driving me nuts. It makes me doubt myself among other things. I have lived with a spouse for 20+ years, that was a complete narcissus and told me I was out of my mind when I would bring up reality. It took over 10 years of therapy for me to understand I was not crazy and my reality was reality. I don't want to go through that again. Yet, I'm a mother and I don't want to hurt my daughter or put her in a bad situation. What to do?????

[Hidden]

Oh my goodness MollyMarie I cannot imagine this situation but maybe someone else can for you! My mother was the narc in my life but to have a daughter who is PD inclined is quite different I think and I feel for you. How difficult. I am a mum of 2 and I'm extremely lucky that we get on with well, but I understand the natural maternal bonds making this very stressful for you.

What I can empathise is the tenuous link to reality, being told there was only one truth which from my reading I understood to be gaslighting. I'm so glad you have had therapy to understand this and to start trusting yourself.

One technique I used successfully is grey rock to protect myself as starters:

medicalnewstoday.com/articl...

I guess ideally you'd like your daughter to move out and give you some peace?

[Craigliving4Jane]

Hi there. Admittedly I don’t know the answer to where she should live. That would need to be answered by you by researching or others on here with suggestions. It is painfully obvious that she needs to be somewhere other than with you.

A friend’s wife had a similar life path and found her way into a Christian facility that financed her care.

Again I don’t know ,but start doing all you can to search ,cause you have found that your reality is true and correct.

Don’t let anyone ever take that again my dear, is my plea and prayer for you.

Much Love

[hypercat54]

Oh dear this is very difficult isn't it. I have experience of family members who have a very skewed attitude to life and are difficult to deal with.

She needs to be in her own place as among many reasons what will happen when you inevitably pass? She would be chucked out of yours too wouldn't she?

She needs to be in a place where she is secure. I don't live in the USA so can't offer any advice there I'm afraid.