I have enough problems with myself…

[Sarge27]

so I live with someone that is, at all times, on the razors edge of an angry outburst about any topic you could think of. It’s a huge stressor to the point where I avoid all contact anytime it’s possible. Any logical responses given to these tantrums are causally tossed aside and just add fuel to the fire. Any advice for my situation?

[Dolphin14]

I'm sorry you have to live like that.

I'm totally serious in this reply, not meaning to be flip at all, I would suggest moving

🐬

[LoveforAll41]

I agree with Dolphin... I would assume finances are a burden and this may be family that doesn't want you to leave, but no relationship is worth being miserable I think. I am sorry that you have to live like this Sarge.

I would stress that you are not responsible for others' emotions. Even if you have something well-intentioned to say they can take it the wrong way and be offended. You know what your intentions are, and will have to live with that. It sounds like this person is very volatile and so you won't be able to understand where they are coming from.

David Burns has 5 secrets to effective communication that could possibly be worth a try. I don't remember if it is one of those or a method for shooting down our inner critics, but you can simply agree with everything they say. You would have to try to see how they see it to be genuine, but maybe it is something to try. "You're an idiot" they say

"You're right, I am an idiot for doing that. I can see how it looks especially stupid from your point of view" I think it goes something like that. Sorry, probably not super helpful 😬😅

I wish you peace Sarge☮️

[mcarrut1]

Could you please add a bit more detail so I can get a better understanding of what you are dealing with in your environment.?

[Sarge27 in reply to mcarrut1]

It’s like what should be a normal everyday conversation about something mundane with no stakes turns into an argument or a scolding

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Well judging by what you have posted... The only logical solution to this is to leave. If that's possible. Or at least start the process of ending this cohabitation. Because the other person is clearly looking for a way out. But is going about it the wrong way. Rather than expressing their true feelings about it. This person picks on mundane things turn into shouting matches over something silly like a fork left in the sink.

But since I don't live with you or this person. Perhaps I'm being to harsh. Perhaps you two can try therapy. That's if you want to hold on to this relationship. If the other person doesn't want to do therapy. Well like you said in your post, you guys your own problems to deal with. You have to take care of yourself and your mental health.

Wishing you healing and peace 🫂❤️

[scansnap]

Find a new person to live with. It sounds like this person is adding significantly to your own mental health discomfort.