Adult child Problem

[ShouldaWouldaCoulda]

My son is an alcoholic and a coke user. He's lost several jobs, been in the hospital, was charged with stalking over his recent divorce, and he's been to jail. He's 42 and has depression. He calls me and says he's going to have to kill himself after he goes and kills his ex. Then says sometimes that he'll get the ex's kids. He raises his voice to me on the phone that I haven't helped him and neither has his son and he's "done" with both of us. This isn't true as I have tried helping him for 8 straight years. I've bailed him out, gone with him to court, given him money, given him a place to stay, etc. He has totally lost his relationship with his 18 year old son. This kid has severe depression and is on the Autism Spectrum. He's had no treatment or therapy and loses jobs and has no friends. He calls me and says he's gotten a reckless driving ticket and is going to lose his license. He says he wishes. He wasn't alive and that he's tried drinking himself to death. I'm 65 and have been in the hospital every year for three years. I currently have a fractured hip. My health has deteriorated and I'm miserable. My son and grandson are all I have. He says I was a good mother but I know I must have really messed him up as a young child I think of everything I've done wrong raising him and I dwell on this until I can't sleep. I cry every day and I don't think I'll ever get over this, I feel the stress will kill me.

[6236]

you can’t control how your children turn out. All you can do is your best. I am 63 and have anxiety and severe depression and I have allowed it to put me in some low places but your son needs to realize as I had to that I was the only one who could do anything about it. It is easy to blame others around you for the way you feel but the bottom line is that you are the only one that can do anything about it. If your son really wants to get better then he needs to get professional help. I have found a psychiatrist who listens and helps and that’s what he needs to do. I know how you feel I have two children and I often wonder if I failed being a parent and I came to realize that just like you and I they made their own choices and that they are responsible for them. You can only do so much for him but if he truly wants to feel better then he is the one that will have to seek help, all you can do is support him when he makes the right decisions. I don’t know if you believe in God or not but that is where all my strength comes from. I hope life gets better for you and your family but don’t blame yourself for the way your son is.

[ShouldaWouldaCoulda in reply to 6236]

thank you for responding to me....I too, have anxiety along with depression. I'm going to find a therapist for myself. My soon refuses to get help so praying that he'll realize it would help him.

[Sillysausage234]

great user name…Sounds like he’s spiralling out of control completely….just don’t feel like it’s your fault ,raising his voice to you is not on tell him to tone it down…..there’s not much you can do while he’s in the grip of addiction,just safeguard yourself best you can.

[ShouldaWouldaCoulda in reply to Sillysausage234]

thanks Mr Sausage for responding. I pray that he takes responsibility for his actions and can find the help he needs to live a good life.