feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety and depression recently, and a lot of flashbacks of the past. What can I do?

[Balloffur2468]

i’ve always had anxiety and depression, and it comes in waves. The past two days have been really hard for me. I feel like my chest is heavy. It’s hard to breathe. I’m sad. I keep myself busy because I’m studying for my board exams to become licensed. as I study, I have flashbacks of my past my time in school that was really negative and even things that happened a few moments ago. I feel like I can’t stop thinking of negative things. I feel like everyone hates me and even if they don’t, I commit myself that they do. I’m very self-critical. I feel like everyone is out to get me in someway. I don’t know why I always end up feeling like this. I think having to study is really triggering me, but it does not thing I can avoid. I feel like I need to have a social life, but I only have like one best friend that lives in another country. Maybe a hobby is good, but I feel very overwhelmed with the amount of work that considering I have two part-time jobs. I also have hormonal imbalance and did a test with my doctor and turned out positive for an auto immune disease. I’m wondering if it’s related to that and that’s why I’m always anxious and sad. Does anyone have any tips? Should I exercise? I also a lot and even feel tired when they wake up no matter how much I sleep.

[LoveforAll41]

Congrats Balloffur on getting to the point where you are studying for exams! I am jealous, I still don't have a degree.

I think that it is good you have some stress, it means you care about what you are doing and can help motivate you. Of course, if it becomes debilitating then that is too much, and we have to find a way to dial it back. What happens if you fail? You have to pay an exorbitant fee and take it again? Maybe all the attempts before you pass it are just learning experiences. Sorry if this doesn't help, I just feel that if we try and fail we are still succeeding. If you take the exams multiple times you better believe you will be very well qualified.

I hope that you know that you have worth as a human no matter what you do or don't do. I try to get worth from working or school but it just leaves me with tremendous pressure to perform on every task. That is no sustainable way to live. I wish you peace, hope, strength, clarity, and doing well on your exams. ❤️☮️