Midlife crisis and Career dilemma

[Millieme]

Hi, everyone! I hope you're doing well. I'm so sorry because this is probably too long and English is not my first language, but I just want to rant. I've been struggling lately with depression and anxiety since it's December and because of my job, my age, and the dilemma of whether I should pursue another degree or career path. I've been in some kind of therapy before but it was such bad experience because my country's public hospital doesn't really have great service and treatment for mental health and private hospital is too expensive. So I'm a teacher and I just got a part time and I had been struggling really hard to find one and now I'm struggling to continue. I feel so anxious and don't know what I'm doing most of the time. So lately I've been thinking about pursuing another degree but I really don't know what I want to do or what I'm really good at. Since battling depression and anxiety at a young without any help, my everyday life mostly about surviving another day instead making plan and goal. This really affect me till these days because I feel so lost in my adult life. I've been contemplating my career options and would appreciate your guidance and support in making a decision. I'm feeling demotivated and mentally drained due to both my work-related challenges and my mental health struggles. It's also rare for people my age(I'm turning 26) to pursue another career and start over in my culture and country. Consequently, I'm concerned that I may not be able to endure another stint in school, as I've quit in the past when faced with similar difficulties. However, my parents are insistent that I pursue an IT-related field, even though I lack proficiency in computers and technology. I'm unsure how to navigate this situation, but I'm leaning towards exploring graphic design as an alternative.There are several options I'm considering, and I would appreciate your input on which one might be the most suitable given my circumstances. Here are the choices:1. Reputable Institution: This option is the most expensive but offers an internationally recognized degree in graphic design. The program duration is shorter, at 2.5 years, compared to other schools or university that require four years to graduate. While the curriculum covers a comprehensive range of subjects, including interior design, which could be beneficial, I'm concerned about the high tuition fees. It would cost me quite a lot of money, which is double the price of a regular degree in our country. I probably can get a job or internship after just a year with the school help, but I'm really concerned considering my ability, my mental state and my bad track record of finding a job and keeping it. Moreover, I'm uncertain about my ability to handle the workload and complete the program successfully, given my current mental state. I'm academically drained after my first degree. I've never done well in school. Although my parents have offered to cover the expenses, I don't want to squander their savings and I don't have a stable job to support it either. Additionally, while the certificate from this institution is highly regarded, I already hold a degree from a reputable university and have struggled to secure employment in the past. Therefore, I question whether investing in this degree would be a wise decision. I know this is a good one but I have such a hard time commit to this and I'm too stress to think logically right now. I really don't want to regret this and waste more time and money.2. Local Institute: This institute offers a graphic design program at a more reasonable price. It takes only three months to complete a single course, and classes are held on weekends, enabling me to work full-time during the week. The institute has just an ok reputation locally, and its certificate may not carry the same weight as the one from the first institution, particularly when it comes to securing employment at larger companies. However, it might present opportunities in smaller organizations as it sometimes provides internship. The main drawback is that it provide less courses and subjects than I need. I would need to take separate courses for graphic design and other subjects, such as video editing, unlike the comprehensive curriculum offered by the first institution. Additionally, while the institute is well-established, the provided materials and tools may not be as up-to-date or modern.3. Nearby Institution: This institution is closer to my house than the previous two options and offers a reasonably priced program. Like the second institute, it requires three months to complete a course, but it does not provide weekend classes. The institution is relatively new, and its reputation is not yet well-established. Consequently, I'm uncertain about the value of the certificate in terms of securing employment at larger companies. However, it may still offer opportunities in smaller organizations. But I'm still sceptical about future opportunities from this university because their adverts don't specifically state that they would provide internship or career opportunities.4. Online Courses: This option involves studying graphic design through online courses. The prices vary, but some are reasonably affordable. However, I'm concerned about the legitimacy and value of the certificates obtained through online programs. Moreover, I would need to take separate courses to gain a comprehensive understanding of graphic design and related fields. The flexibility of online learning appeals to me, as I can study at my own pace. Nevertheless, I worry about whether I can effectively learn and comprehend the material in an online setting.5. Current Employment: The final option is to continue working in my current job, even though I don't particularly enjoy it. However, I've been struggling to find alternative opportunities, and there is uncertainty surrounding the stability of my current workplace due to its low student enrollment. Additionally, I'm starting to question whether teaching is the right long-term profession for me, especially considering the potential financial instability it may entail. If I were to secure a stable job with a good income, I might be content to continue in my current role and forego pursuing another degree but my current job is quite unstable so that's why I'm thinking trying other things.Also if I were to choose to commit pursuing another degree and career, I'm scared and exhausted to start all over again. I had such a bad experience studying and finding job from my teaching degree. I'm scared to do it all over again or maybe I will have a better job-finding experience with this degree but again I feel like I'm the problem, and not the degree or career path I'm choosing. I feel so bad for being immature and struggling to grasp adulthood unlike my peers.I apologize for the disorganized nature of this post. I wanted to share my thoughts with you, but they ended up jumbled and unclear. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions but I'm just wanting to rant and relieve some stress. I'll be OK.Thank you for your understanding and support. Merry Christmas!

[gajh]

Hello I just wanted to Welcome you here. I read your post. I think you are doing a great job of weighing all of your options. I think you will make the best decision for yourself. I wish you the best of luck.

[Millieme in reply to gajh]

Thank you so much 🙏

[litethatnevergoesout]

I’m in disbelief English is not your first language after that hefty articulate post packed with an arsenal of flowery descriptors.

teach English.

[Millieme in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Thank you! I actually teach English sometime 😊🙏

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Millieme]

ask for more money

[Sunrisetabby]

You are doing a great job in carefully considering your options. My first thought would be to encourage you to try and get treatment for your depression and anxiety before making such a major life decision. As you detail, the choice you have is not easy and there are benefits and costs to all programs. It likely would be beneficial for you to talk with a therapist and psychiatrist if possible and necessary. Since you currently have employment and are concerned about finances, my own two cents of advice would be to keep your current job as long as possible and until have decided and are happy with your decision about what to do. I don't know what the educational situation is in Cambodia, but taking an initial 3 month class on the weekends at your option 2 school seems like a good way for you to see how much you like and how well you are able to perform in that field. After taking several courses perhaps you could transfer to a more reputable institution and complete a degree in less time as you may have already fulfilled some of the requirements. Also, 26 is so young! There is absolutely still time for you to still change your career once, or twice, or three, or four, or five times. Best of luck!

[Millieme in reply to Sunrisetabby]

Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I really appreciate your advice and support. I wish you the best too.