stuck

[happygolucky123]

hi. this is my first time using something like this but i just need to talk to people who understand what I am going through. I am 18 and moved out of my parents house on my 18th birthday. My parents got divorced when I was young and my dad remarried. His wife did not like me at all and wanted me gone. Since I was 15, I knew that I was going to leave in the middle of the night on my 18th birthday. His wife treated my sisters and i so poorly. This includes physical and emotional abuse. My dad let it all happen too… She didn’t like who I was as a person or my beliefs. She didn’t let me be my own person. She had this specific idea of what she wanted me to be and if i didn’t follow it, it was bad for me. She never let me do things that normal teenagers would do. She would make me do crazy things for her such as find her work clothes in the mornings before school and if i didn’t i would get hit. Ever since I have moved out i have felt so much better. Leaving a toxic household is so good for your mental health. But it hasn’t all good. I decided that I still wanted to go to college and pay for it on my own. This has caused so much stress because i work a lot and am exhausted all the time. Another thing that is a con to moving out is the fact that i had nowhere to go. My girlfriends family invited me to move in with them. This has become very hard for my girlfriend and myself since we are also college roommates. We never get time to ourselves and I have nowhere to go. She recently brought up to me that she would like some space. This has caused me to spiral because she is the only person I talk to anymore. I know it’s not healthy and i need to make new friends but it’s just so hard with work and school and managing a girlfriend. I don’t know what to do with my life. I hate my job, I hate that I have to work, and i hate having no one to turn to. I hate that I have no where to go. I don’t feel comfortable anywhere.

[LoveforAll41]

Hi happy, that is a tough situation. You are very young though. First, I would see if you can find a therapist, and if you work full time hopefully you have some insurance you can use to see one. I love therapy.

Also, being young and having no dependents you are hopefully free to job switch. You can find something you enjoy and move into a cheap basement apartment or something. I wish I had even felt that this was an option and I didn't have to jump right to college. You could go to a cheap tech school or something part time, or even do school online. A new job would hopefully open you up to new friends as well.

I hate having to work too, but I like my job pretty well and especially like those I work with so that is a big plus. You can beat the system if you put the effort in. Your college would also probably have a lot of mental health resources and just single rooms for rent. You could try to move in with some new people and get that built in proximity that would hopefully yield friends. I kind of wish I had done that but you'd have to be pretty social and open.

Anyway, I just wanted to express that you have a lot of time to figure stuff out and try new things. If it feels overwhelming maybe you could take a leave of absence and still get help for a year and give yourself a solid foundation?

I wish you peace, hope, and strength.

[designguy]

That is a challenging place to be, you might talk to a counselor at your college and see if they have some options/support for you.