Left in the dark

[Downinil]

I feel like life is passing me by. Not being able to force myself to go out in public is wearing on my mind. I want so much to have someone trustworthy to take me by the hand and walk me through life. What can I do to make this happen?

[Ellamaye]

Noone can walk you through life . And I sat that in the kindest way . It's your life and you have to address the issues about not going out in public because if you can't do that alone then you can't ask that of anyone else

[Downinil in reply to Ellamaye]

I understand that is true. I should have stated in my post that I wish someone could. That’s how I feel. I’m trying very hard to make myself go out but can’t seem to yet. I wonder if you have any suggestions on how to go about forcing myself out.

[Ellamaye in reply to Downinil]

I'll try but you have to tell me the core reason you can't go out in public. What's the deep fear? You don't know me . I can't hold you accountable for anything your free to say what you Want

[Downinil]

I worry that I will fall or get into an accident, anything could happen. I realize that there’s a percentage of probability in this equation but my imagination gets carried away.

[Ellamaye in reply to Downinil]

My anxiety is about my family members not myself like yours is but when the dark thoughts swarm I literally feel terrified . I have an antidepressant that actually kind of helps now and I've found coping mechanisms like when I lay down to sleep I drown out ny thoughts with my earphones and listen to music or a TV series I already know and don't have to pay attention to. Also other distractions.

[Ellamaye]

By the way I am struggling to go out in public right now ihave developed a medical condition. And it's affected me aesthetically let's say and I'm literally taking it day by day. I have to leave my house right now to take my son to school for example. And depending on the weather I either wear sunglasses or hold an umbrella low. I'm really struggling I don't speak to anyone I pretend I'm on the phone I'll be late or early for things. Its not a solution to my problem but I'm just doing what I can

[Downinil in reply to Ellamaye]

All we can do is our best. I can empathize with you on your specific fears because I have a deep shame of my appearance. I’ve been anorexic in the past because of that. Body dysmorphic syndrome, I assume.

[Ellamaye in reply to Downinil]

That's got to be the first step then. Knowing why you feel like this so then next step is what do you need to be able to go out because the alternative would be very sad and lonely. The more we build things up in our mind the bigger they become so start small... a walk down your street with someone you trust maybe? And obviously you wearing whatever you feel comfortable in