My schizophrenic big sister was in and out of Assisted Living places for many years, after she could not take care of herself anymore. Several years ago, the R.N./OWNER of one I moved my sister to, began making serious mistakes with the medication. I called the pharmacy and was told my sister had not had anti-psychotic meds delivered for close to 4 months. I was her POA. I called her doctor, who sent in a prescription right away. I called the owner of the facility and told her what I did. She lied and said my sister had been getting it. The prescription was called in on March 5th, 2016. At the end of March/early April, my sister told me she had not gotten her insulin shots for 2-3 days. The place was out of needles. I then reported the R.N. to APS. Shortly after that, she took my sister to sign a form revoking me as her POA. The RN took over taking my sister to all her Doctors appointments and I could no longer speak with her doctors. Bit by bit, I was cut out of my sister's life, and the RN had my sister call me and tell me not to come see her, anymore. I couldn't afford an attorney. I went through NAMI and several places to find a place for my sister that would understand schizophrenia. No one could help.
I had not seen my sister in several years. I have a phone recording from my sister calling me and in the background I can hear the RN say "your sister is ruining your life."
On 9/11/23 a lady from another Assisted living facility called my daughter, leaving a message to call her concerning my sister. When called back this woman said she was sending an email and certified letter to my daughter. End of call. On 9/14/23 the email arrived and said my sister died on 9/6/23. We did not know the RN had moved her someplace else. The RN had all our contact info. I called the lady at the new place demanding to know where my sister was. She said we had to wait for the certified letter to name the "facility." It arrived at my daughter's, in another city, a few minutes before 4pm on Friday 9/15/23.
I started calling the city morgue and police early Friday morning the 15th to find my sister. A detective got a hospital name, and I called them. My sister died suddenly from cardiac arrest due to edema with heavy bleeding going on. The assisted living lady did not tell them my sister had family (just my daughter and me) so my sister went to a contracted funeral home as "unclaimed" on the 7th.
I called the funeral home on the 15th about noon when I learned they had my sister. The assisted living lady had told us on the 14th, when we called after getting the email, that the "facility" would keep my sister 20-21 days so there was no rush to contact the place. When I reached the funeral home early on the 15th, I was told they only keep the "unclaimed" 10 days. They were transporting her the next morning the 16th for a pauper burial with 2 other bodies. The assisted living lady NEVER told the funeral home my sister had family. They had asked her ×2 about family and she told them my sister didn't have family. I had begun at 8 a.m. looking for my sister on the 15th, and by 2:30 pm I had arranged for her transport out of there so she can be buried next to mom, who had gotten her a plot 20 years ago.
So far, I've learned my sister had been started on a medication that is high risk for kidney patients and it can lead to "internal bleeding and rarely death". The RN at the old place took over taking my sister to her kidney specialist after she revoked me, after not giving my sister her schizophrenia med for several months. My sister had kidney disease for YEARS. She had moved my sister to the new assisted living place in May 2023. I got that info from my sister's adult daycare she went to while at the 1st place. By 9/5/23, my sister had been taken to the hospital for "a bad reaction to Eliquis" according to the 2cd assisted living place she had been moved to. She said they couldn't save her. And, I find out the 15th where my sister is. I was barely able to get forms signed and get witnesses, then emailed them to the place I was moving her to, at 2:30pm., on the 15th. My daughter got the certified letter at 3:53 pm on the 15th stating the funeral home name. I had been able to reach them already and the funeral home was closing at 4pm that day. I got my sister picked up Saturday morning the 16th by who I had chosen instead of her being sent that morning for a pauper funeral. She had not been embalmed because they didn't have her family's permission. The funeral home wouldn't let me see her due to her face had started to decompose. I did get a picture of her face from the place I had her sent to after I asked for it and they got it approved. She looks like a boxer that lost a really big fight. I'm still trying to put the whole picture together and I'm waiting on her death certificate. The assisted living place tried to get her buried before we would be able to contact the funeral home. Just going to throw us all away. In Texas, I cannot sue for my sister's wrongful death. Siblings aren't allowed. She had no kids and our parents are dead. APS is a nightmare. They never took my complaints about my sister's care over the years seriously. I'm not contacting them for now. I am not dropping this matter, though. I'm still battling people over my sister's care. I'm in shock. I'm lost and alone. My daughter is angry and told me she doesn't want me trying to force her to help take care of my sister now. I used to make her help me years ago. She has stopped talking to me.
Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this? I need pointers as to where to go for help. I want all these people held accountable. For my sister.
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Horsesarebeautiful
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It's very sad in mental health cases there is so much abuse and neglect. They start treating you different lower and ignore your health issues completely. I hope your voice makes difference and this does not happen again. The abusers are punished
Thank you! It's good to hear someone else say that I'm doing the right thing. It means so much right now. My daughter said she doesn't like my "choices" I'm making. It's wonderful to hear your voice breaking in through my shock.
Have you made newspapers aware of case? Or would like private? Which I respect both cases
I want to make it very public. I'm not sure exactly when I will do that, though. I'm still waiting on her death certificate and trying to collect any past happenings, dates, and I am waiting to find out when she started the Eliquis and what Dr. wrote the prescription. I have a feeling she started it at the old assisted living place run by the RN, who knew she had kidney disease and had stopped her anti-psychotic for so long. The new place isn't talking much but they did tell my daughter when the RN moved my sister there, her blood sugar was 500. This RN totally destroyed my sister's life in every way, and took her away from me. The next time I see her will be when I get her cremated remains from the post office. I've read they are the only ones that deliver her to me. Right now I want to scream all this from a mountaintop. Your kind words, and others, are helping me put one foot in front of the other every day.
Sorry for all you are going through. I am praying for you and you are amazing sister who she would be proud of. Heaven will be known to all of us but let us not go in pain and agony. You are in the right and will have support from all those that know this case, it was tragic and shouldn't have happened. Care is duty of professionals
horsesarebeautiful that was heartbreaking to read. how criminal. I hope you find peace and justice and I wish the best for you and your relationship with your daughter.
I am just spitting fire right now! I am so so sorry for your loss. It’s a shame there is no place for help for us average people to get justice. My suggestion is to check with the state office that inspects the nursing homes. I can’t think of the name now. I would think they broke a lot of rules and regulations in their actions. Maybe your state representative? I will ask someone I know who works for our state about elder abuse and who to contact. This is unacceptable!! My heart is breaking for you.
What an awful story and I am so sorry about your poor sister.
My first thought was surely your sister had to be examined to see if she was capable of making her own judgements. It can't just be a case of getting her to sign away your POA surely? There seems to be a legal issue right there.
I think you definitely need to see a lawyer as this is a minefield.
I am full of admiration at what you have done to safeguard her and ensure she is buried properly with a family service.
When the R.N. took my schizophrenic sister to sign to revoke me, she had not been giving her script for anti- psychotic meds to her for about 4 months. She lied about it, but I had not been revoked yet at that time and I saw my sister was hallucinating more than usual so I called the pharmacy. They went over her long list of meds they had been delivering to the assisted living place she was at. Not one anti-psychotic med went there till I got a Dr to call one in. Did the nurse start giving it to her again? She took my sister shortly after that to revoke me as her POA. I really don't believe my sister ever got any more medication after that. My daughter and me took her to see the Easter bunny at Wal-Mart. She was childlike. At Wal-Mart we looked at shampoo and stuff and she wasn't talking much to us. I looked up from the shampoo shelf at her and she looked at me with a terrified expression. She never did that before. The RN took over taking her to medical appointments after I was revoked. I had always gone in the exam room with her before then. I am searching for an attorney. I have no confidence in Texas Adult Protective Services. She had broken her hip at a previous Assisted living place. The woman that ran that place had my sister sit with other residents to eat, then drove her in the lady's personal car to the hospital. She was in E.R. on a morphine IV when I got there. When investigating what happened, after I reported she was in pain with delayed care to APS, the investigator called and asked me, "How do you know she was in pain if you weren't there when she broke her hip?" His report said nothing wrong had happened. They let her slip through the cracks for years. She was on Medicaid, S.S. disability, and Health and Human Resources helped with things.
What a nightmare you went through. Legal consultation is needed and researching some sort of bureau accountability. You will get justice here or in the hereafter. God knows and loved her and you. Too many details unknown here. Pray for your relationship with daughter. We know the medical system is broken and certainly for those with mental illness.
Thank you very much. I am praying that this all will be a drop in the ocean and might might some tiny difference for others. I've read when you plant a tree, you do it for someone in the future to enjoy the shade. I know my sister would be thrilled if it could possibly change anything. I actually just found out from someone the name of an attorney she used when a family member died due to negligence. A step in the right direction.
Everyone here has been wonderful. It keeps me putting one foot in front of the other right now. It also reminds me there are still kind and compassionate people in this world.
I've put my own depression battle on hold. I was looking for a new doctor and medication when I heard about my sister. I've put myself on the back burner so many times for her. I just can't believe I'm doing it again under these circumstances. No one else wants to fight for her, they never have. She loaned me $600 for my very first beat up car and let me take forever paying her back. She can't help she got worse as time went on.
I agree with hypercat54. You need a lawyer. This sounds like a medical malpractice case. Keep all your notes/paperwork and write everything down. I’m so sorry for your suffering and the loss of your sister. My condolences to you and your family.
First, please allow me to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your sister.
As a French citizen, I do not know the Texas justice system but I think that, if you show the photo to the police and explain that there may be a suspicion of an "abnormal" death, things may take an other colour and you may get at least an investigation.
But ... be sure that you are not trying to fix what you have not broken. You are in no way responsible of the way your sister lived her life and the decision she took, as a responsible and aware adult, to not let you be her POA anymore. She may have been under pressure then, thru you eyes and ears, off course, but if you have no evidence, risk is that you will fight against mills 1nd spend lots of energy.
I can, off course, understand how frustrating the situation can be. But you are the center of your world and must protect you from the blast that may occur if you intend things that go too much deep.
I am in no way criticing your question nor your opinion, just trying to not let you step in to a hole.
Hello there. I do have contact with the detective that found her for me. I did send her the picture and let her know my sister died less than 4 months after being moved to the new place. You're right, it will be hard to prove some things, if possible at all. Like, did the RN ever start her on the medication again. Family avoided her, my daughter lives in another city, so I was the one to see her getting worse. I have the pharmacy record of not delivering it for so long, at least. I'm looking through old notes etc that I wrote to try and put all the pieces together. It's overwhelming. There's only so much that can be proved, you're right. I need to get focused. A nephew that had nothing to do with her, and rarely answered my texts to him over the years, called me earlier today screaming at me. I had contacted him to say she died. He's the only one I figured would care to come to services. He doesn't like the arrangements I made and just kept screaming and interrupting me and insulting me. He told me to f*** off. I just said "and you care about her now?" He never helped with her through the years, never asked where she was. I know some people can't handle death as well as others, but it sure is making it more difficult than need be.
Hi. I am really sorry for your loss and what you had to endure. It must have been so difficult for you. And you must be full of anger. Having said that, I will say that
1) you should be proud that you tried so hard to do the best you could do for your sister.
2) You need to mend fences with your daughter. Reach our to her - I am sure she will appreciate. Your sister is gone but your daughter is there, living and breathing. She should be getting attention and love from you.
3) Try to make peace with the situation. I am sure you have arranged a proper funeral for your sister. That should give you comfort.
Thank you. I have been trying to reach out to my daughter but I think all this is just too much for her. She has gone quiet on me, and isn't responding now. She will come to services, but she doesn't want any more details or for me to express my feelings. She said she feels bombarded. She's young with a busy life and wants to enjoy it. I understand. My life has always screeched to a halt when something came up with my sister and it's happening now, again. She doesn't want to deal with it. It's going to take some time.
Love always wins and fighting back with relatives does no good. Sorry it's all up to you now and you are angry. Try to be gentle in your contacts and seek a lawyer. You are loved.
This is a case which I doubt could be followed through successfully without a lawyer. The institution and RN appear to have put significant energy into covering up what has happened. You won't be able to fight them on your own. It is not just a case of neglect but nursing incompetence and presumably criminal intent to mislead the family. I am from Australia but I suggest that legal firms would be happy to take the case for a share in the proceeds. I know that proceeds are not the reason why a case such as this would be litigated but the institution and individual in question need the light of truth shone on their actions in order that such manipulations do not happen again at this site.
Hoping very much that you can start the long process of sorting out this mess and getting some sort of justice. Yours in concern.
You are absolutely correct. It's a nightmare to try and sort out, and it will take a lawyer to do it. The whole thing is shocking and hard to grasp. Thank you so much for reaching out to me.
So sorry for your loss- sorry I can’t give any advice except to say remember in all of this terrible situation to take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. I lost my only sister a few years ago due to cancer and it was hard, still miss her every day ❤️
I lost my lil brother to suicide face it we have a very failing mental health system in America, there's not much true care, I think care should be taken out of the Health care system.i myself deal w it or try..try to contact local mental health crisis lines to see if they can help you,just don't tell them it's a legal matter,cause there taught to protect the failing system..
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I know it must feel impossible to deal with. The lack of the right kind of care for him only compounds everything to an unimaginable level. I called K-LOVE the other day for prayer. A lady prayed with me, and then put me through to a pastor. He sent me information on groups getting together to grieve, and gave me a # for Christian legal advice and prayed with me. I'm not calling APS or anyone else with the state, for now. If ever. I'll let an attorney take care of things. It's a nightmare the extent people will go to so they can cover things up.
Nice,we can't lose hope,it feels like I do another though,caring for ill last parent is tough full x caregiver for mom,been lo g bumpy streeesssfful road...but I'm trying hard n ask God for help m strength...I hope u can find piece of mind.....godspeed...
Do you know just how wonderful you are to be taking care of your mom, especially now? God is giving you strength. He's not walking with me now, He's carrying me. He's doing the same with you. I can't even think straight to pray now. I just look up and say "I know you're getting me through this." God bless your kind heart and being someone that took her care upon yourself. Not everyone can or will do that.
Thnx for kind words,means alot..I know what you mean,I suffer w bipolar depression since child,and it really is tough,I hope you can find peace of mind,I get severe mind racing n thoughts it's very hard to deal w except isolation is my big thing, I'm not a public person,I struggle w social anxiety that quite severe lately....try the YouTube music,for relaxation it's very helpful give yourself some me time n try to breath,I been trying this as well...
Nice,we can't lose hope,it feels like I do another though,caring for ill last parent is tough full x caregiver for mom,been lo g bumpy streeesssfful road...but I'm trying hard n ask God for help m strength...I hope u can find piece of mind.....godspeed...
Firstly my condolences to U & ur family as losing a family member always hurts.
Secondly I read what U wrote & I'm very shocked at how easy it was to revoke ur POA, that wouldn't happen here in the UK as even moving ur family from 1 nursing home to another would need family approval.
Thirdly how are U feeling & are U giving urself some U time & I'm sorry about ur daughter not wanting to be at ur side when U really need her.
There has to be some legal recourse that would find this RN & throw her in jail pending an investigation.
Again please make sure U take time to breathe & collect ur thoughts & lastly
I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been through. This world has become a terrible place to live in, with less and less love for one another. Your sister is now at peace and away from all the evil and l pray that justice is done to those that abused her mentally. Justice is mine says the Lord. You did your best. God will do the rest. I wish you joy and peace.
Well said,there's too much hate and decrepit in this society, hope it ends one day,but that's when man's wiped off the planet...it's sad but so true...
This is a horrible story!!! I feel angry for you!!! I’d put their name out there! I worked in the medical field and saw behind the scenes. Everything comes down to money and covering their mistakes. It’s disgusting! I hope you get some answers and can have some peace. ❤️
Try to find a lawyer who will work pro bono. There should be some in your area. There may also be a government agency that could look into this for you. Good luck.
In this state, only a parent, spouse or child can sue for wrongful death. Our parents are both deceased, my sister never married and had no children. I got the name of a good attorney to speak to from someone that has used him for wrongful death. There are other things to sue for like medical malpractice. I'm praying the State of Texas can be sued, naming certain individuals. Also, the doctor, of course.
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Just my sister being silly. 
My sister won’t talk to me now
