Growth can be uncomfortable.

[gerrerd]

But goes with venturing out.

[Turnipgirl]

On Wednesday just gone I decided on a trip out to Barry Island on the bus and before I went I was feeling terrified and then I had a think about what it was that was upsetting me and why and it was fears over coming back home on a crowded evening bus so what I did was I went there anyway deciding to leave the worries about the crowded bus until it was time to get worried over it.

The buses going down there were fine but busy but not to the point of being crowded and me feeling terrified and the one up to the city centre was busy but not horribly crowded which I was fine with.

Then it was 4.30 and time to get the bus back home and there was a crowd in the waiting area but I decided yes I was getting on anyway and that running away from frightening things isn't the answer so on there I went and took a front seat to help me through the ordeal.

I had nearly got off the bus due to feeling absolutely terrified and the heat didn't help matters but I decided to stay with it reminding myself that running away from things that frighten you isn't the answer and how I would soon be back home with a nice cup of tea!

I saw it through and survived and came home and sat down with a cup of tea telling myself well done for having stayed and saw it through.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Turnipgirl]

I want to tell you also. Well done my friend!!

❤️🐬

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Turnipgirl]

You are pushing your comfort zone in healthy ways and your growth will soon follow! This post fromgerrerd is perfect for us I can definitely see my progression from a small retracted, restricted space to finally opening up for meaningful changes in my habits.

It's HARD WORK 💪 but you got this!!

[Turnipgirl in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I have just come back home from a great day out at swimming and then I decided to walk down to where my old flat was through the parks and get the bus by the stop there and I really enjoyed my walk through the little parks and also round the lake at the big one.

I still go to the parks now and again near my old flat where I was evicted from through no fault of my own.

What it was that upset me about that was the unkind manner in which it was done rather than moving in itself as we had been on about moving to the suburbs since 2020 but when lockdown came along we had decided to put it off for a bit which was the right thing to do.

I had seen that one coming for ages though that we were all going to be getting evicted from those flats in due course and how right I was!

When the official letter came to everyone last July saying we had 2 months to leave before they took us to court I wasn't surprised but still it was a shock though getting that in writing!

After all that it turned out the notices were invalid as last November I received a letter saying that the notice was invalid as they hadn't done the deposit paperwork correctly and I can remember crying tears of relief and they sent me another notice that ran out back in January.

Then it was the start of March and I received court papers through the door along with a defence form to send to the court and I filled out the defence form and sent it off to court as advised.

Then it was the Saturday of the Welsh Mother's Day weekend back in March and I had come back from the park and there was a frightening official brown envelope on the doormat from the court saying how they had messed up the paperwork that had been sent to court so Judge wasn't giving them possession based on the paperwork and he had ordered a hearing at the court for the Tuesday after Easter and I had cried tears of relief as at court there's people to support you should you receive bad news.

Then it was the Thursday before the court hearing and I had received a list of costs that they had asked Judge to get me to pay that were over £2000!

At the court hearing the Tuesday after Easter they had asked Judge again for a high court bailiff to get me out and Judge had said get stuffed as he did to the £2000 of court costs and they had gone out of court with faces like thunder but Judge had no choice but to give them their possession order ordering I leave the place within 14 days!

Their solicitor had shouted at Judge when he wouldn't give them their own way and had said in a huff well we will just have to wait for the county court bailiffs then won't we!

That would have been terrifying though if I had received that through the post at home on my own that news so I was thankful that the case went to court as I had my solicitor there to sit down with and explain things and offer me support whereas at home I would have been on my own terrified!

Then it was the start of May and I had been out for the day and came back in the evening and had found an eviction warrant at the flat hand delivered by the county court bailiffs saying I was getting evicted on 30 May at 10.20am and I was absolutely terrified even though I knew that was soon it was still a shock receiving that notice though!

Thankfully I got out the day before the bailiffs were due to evict and had been emotional the first week I was here probably tears of relief that it was all over!

After all that my confidence was in shreds but I made myself go out and at first just round the neighbourhood getting to know where things were and then graduated to going further afield and then facing the crowded bus last Wednesday.

Today the buses going up to swimming were busy but not horribly packed to the point when I was terrified as I was last Wednesday!

Just to explain I didn't go for the walk through the parks due to being frightened of the crowded buses no I went there because I enjoy going to those parks and it seemed a shame to waste a sunny afternoon getting stuck on a crowded bus!

The bus from the stop by my old place was fine and I managed that one with ease as well.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Turnipgirl]

Congratulations on your wonderful day! You're doing great and adjusting to your new neighborhood and routine. So sorry you had to go through all that crazy housing situation. What a disaster. At least it's behind you now.

Keep enjoying your new place and don't let anyone tell you how to feel.

[Turnipgirl in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Looking back I do feel now that having to wait to get a new place was a blessing in disguise and losing out on those places I had applied for.

A couple of those places are back up for grabs and they have increased their rents by £200 a month which I think is greedy!

Who can afford to pay an extra £200 a month?

Say if I had got those places and have that happen that really would have hurt a lot more than having to wait so I do feel now when those viewings got cancelled by accident I got stopped from having made a big mistake!

Then back in May when I received the eviction letter off the bailiffs I had applied for a place in North Road which wasn't available until the middle of June at the earliest.

The council had said to me about if I wanted to pursue that one to book myself into a cheap b and b until I could move in and they offered me this place which was a better offer which I took!

I do feel that those bailiffs when they said they were coming to evict at the end of May by accident they stopped me from having made a big mistake by me not going to North Road as I don't think I would have been happy there!

I think if I had decided to pursue North Road I would still be in the b and b now!

[gerrerd in reply to Turnipgirl]

Well done Im proud of you. x

[Turnipgirl in reply to gerrerd]

Good news as this morning I have just paid off my washer/dryer in full that I put on my credit card as when you buy things with a credit card you have more protection than when you buy things with a cheque or cash or a debit card so I can swear now on a stack of bibles that all the essential furniture I bought for the place is officially mine now the washer/dryer has been paid off in full!

It's an expensive do isn't it sorting out furniture for a new place?

Next thing to sort is a dining table and chairs, bookcases, lampshades and perhaps another sofa which can easily wait for a little while longer.

With having to have waited to have got this place I did find it extremely infuriating having to wait but I would rather be infuriated over having to wait than have got those flats I applied for last year, been happily settled in them and then get told the rent was going up £200 a month which would have hurt a lot more than getting infuriated over having to wait!

Like I said earlier who has the money to afford a rent increase of £200 a month?

I don't know anyone who has that kind of money!

I was infuriated over having to wait because I was frightened over getting evicted rather than doing it out of deliberate malice.

[gerrerd in reply to Turnipgirl]

Take it easy, your a surviver x

[Turnipgirl in reply to gerrerd]

Today it was a quiet day in after all the hectic activity of last week and no frightening bus rides today!

[LifeIsThePitts]

LOOOOVE this!!

[Hidden]

I agree, self fulfillment doesn’t come from staying in the comfort zone. Neither does happiness success or peace. Get out of your comfort zone and make something happen!

[gerrerd in reply to Hidden]

👍