Finding Ground_Reaching for Answers to Impossible Questions_Discovering Self even if it’s a Load of Bollox

[Spiral33]

I’m a lost soul like yourself. Spilling over with emotions that I don’t share most of the time. Why are habits so hard to change? Why do I edit my existence all the time? Why do I value myself based on how I look even though my very bones disagree with this concept. I try to grow everyday without being too self centered.

Q1. My heart broke recently trying to find a way to heal without becoming a rough and gruff angry person. Or bitter like a lemon slice.

Q2. How to balance diet lifestyle without becoming obsessive or letting my hunger or diet control me ?

Q3. How to share with people without burdening them?

Q4. How to support people without giving so much of myself I crack, leak and drown in sorrow.

Q5. How to make money?

Q6. How to be successful whilst disregarding social norms and conventional ideas of success?

Q7. How to support a positively sustainable lifestyle when everything organic is a few penny’s outside my budget?

Q8. How to stop apologising for myself when I’m always sorry?

Q9. How to let someone go when I know they’re not good for me, but I love them?

Q10. How to believe in myself? Should I even believe in myself? Why bother with any of it? How to get out of the spiral of why?

Thanks for acknowledging me.

Slán

[Spiral33]

already want to delete post sounds very self centered and privileged we

[Spiral33 in reply to Spiral33]

just hard to take myself seriously even when I’m sad

[Gradients-of-Blue in reply to Spiral33]

It's okay, I've been trying to reply. Your hurting and it's understandable. Thank you for not deleting it and reaching out

[Gradients-of-Blue]

Q1. Grief is something everyone experiences with all the emotions in the world. Whether it's you losing love for even yourself, saying goodbye to loved ones, or even the simplest throwing away something minorly precious to you. It's difficult being stuck in anger, but it won't define you as a person because even expressing that you don't want to be a bitter person shows you love more than anger can burden you.Q2. Diets are fads and make it unrealistic to maintain. Change the way you enjoy life and food, you don't need to have extreme low calories just healthier options of what you enjoy. You don't have to exercise just do your best to go find an activity that keeps you on your feet, for me that's walking and talking on the phone.

Q3. You aren't the burden. You are unburdening yourself, they aren't receiving it, they are listening to it and if they feel they can help (like I am with sharing some of my life with you) they will reach out to you. Accept it because you deserve it.

Q4. This is a balancing act, that heavily involves number 3, you have to communicate when you realize you can't do it. It hurts to feel you let someone down but until you feel like you can unbidden yourself, adding more emotional burdens will feel like your drowning.

Q5. Lifes question of exploration, tbh I'm going to college to do this so idk myself.

Q6.you don't, i personally don't care about social norm. Everyone has an opinion so the only ones I care about are my significant others.

Q7. Buy making food in general and having shopping bags yourself. Our society isn't built to be sustainable, just survive, you are enough of an impact of change.

Q8.love yourself more, and I mean by doing more of what makes you happy.

Q9. Cold turkey and distractions until you actually forget them. They will appear in memories that float by but your will is the only thing stopping you.

Q10.take a deep breath. Remember what you love about yourself. Say I love that I do this or see this. Gratitude journal's help long term in this regard for me. Say okay to those bad thoughts, empty your mind and think I love... what ever. It can even be about others, but positivity helps me get out of spirals. The why try is up to you though, I live to have fun at Universal and that is enough for me right now.

[PourSomeSugarOnMe in reply to Gradients-of-Blue]

I just wanted to say thank you for your reply, I resonated with a lot of the questions the poster asked and your response really helped 🙏

[Spiral33 in reply to Gradients-of-Blue]

Wow thank you Gradients of Blue for your comprehensive and thoughtful response to my questions. I didn’t expect anyone to really see what I had written! Your answers really helped thank you.

[Tealpillow]

I have the same questions and love what gradientblue wrote. Thanks for posting your questions - it helped me!

[designguy]

Sounds like you are being very hard on yourself and have the belief that self-care and self-compassion is selfish and self-centered when the truth is just the opposite. For what ever reason a lot of us were never taught how to love, nurture and accept ourselves and like in my case, were even punished and shamed for trying to do so. My guess is that you wouldn't treat a friend the way that you treat yourself. You may also have some degree of perfectionism and a vocal inner critic which can be common with low-self-worth which is what you are suffering from.

There are good books available on healing your self-worth as well as a lot of good info on youtube about it. I particularly like Julia Kristina and have found her book "Drive your own darn bus" helpful as well as, Bernadette Logue and Dr. Bernadette Sewell, I did her Break Free program.

[Spiral33]

Thank you design guy this was really helpful and to the point. I will check out these authors for sure.