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[PoppiesAndStripes23]

Hi there. I'm new to this forum and just trying to figure things out. I'm the parent of two teenagers that have severe depression and anxiety, and I'm trying to find out more ways that I can help and support them on this journey. My daughter is 17 and really struggling at the moment. She is currently in a residential treatment program, but I don't think it is the right fit for her needs. I'm just not sure what other support or programs are out there. I'm feeling like I need to bring her home. If I do that, I want to make sure that we aren't going to make things worse. So, I guess I'm most interested in finding out if anyone has some suggestions for programs to look into or modalities to consider that folks have actually found to be helpful.

[AnxiousSilver]

First and foremost, welcome to this community.

Second, what does her pysch and doctors say about her "progress" (if any ATM) of being in the treatment program?

[PoppiesAndStripes23 in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Thank you! Not much progress to report atm..other than the added component of PTSD diagnosis. I think that will be pivotal information for her treatment moving forward. Of course, the doctor at Children's Hospital diagnosed her with the PTSD...so we will see if the residential Pyschiatrist agrees. Thanks for being supportive.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hi, Welcome, Don't pull her out until her doctors tell you it's ok. It takes time to adjust living in a place that is keeping you safe. Group and individual therapy is very helpful. I got the most out of group therapy. I didn't feel so alone with my sickness, others had it in various forms. I had a good women's group that was very helpful. It all takes a few tries to find a program that works for you. The experience of different places is helpful in the learning how to survive. It is important to listen to the doctors. I suggest you learn as much as you can about MDD. Learn about treatments, medications. Finally learn about how to be an effective communicator and listener. She is lucky that she has your support.

[PoppiesAndStripes23 in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Thank you Raggedy-Ann. I really needed to verbalize my thoughts and concerns, and sharing it with you all provided some added perspective. The last thing I want to do is delay healing for her, so I appreciate your thoughtful and constructive response. I'm definitely going to sit with things for a bit longer...but I still feel that internal conflict pretty strongly. Guess it is time for the parent to do a little healing, too! 🥴 Thank you for your response. It is helpful.

[012703060610]

First I want to address your health. Always put your mask on first! I have three younger kids ages 11, 10 and 6 and having depression with any age of child is very hard. We have a long history of anxiety and depression on my Father's side of the family. I too have had a stay ...albeit the wrong place and for the wrong reasons...and it gave me a ton of perspective. I know my girls are about explode into puberty and I don't think I'm ready at all. At 17, your brain is just so confused. The world is so different and everything revolves around things that don't really matter, mostly. I think she is safe which is good. Now are you feeling safe while she is there? I find the most basic solution to a massive depressive bout is to ensure I feel safe. I'll do whatever it takes to feel safety and you need that too. How is your other teen doing? This all happened to my sister and her family. My niece has been in various places for treatment and now at age 24, she is actually married, eating healthy, on the right meds (turned out to be bipolar) and she is HAPPY! Her Mother thought, my sister, has not taken care of herself and has become a total recluse. I know how hard it is to be the strong parent when we also need help. I have been more open with my kiddos about certain things like mental health holistically as well as their physical health. I want them to know they need to take care of their mind and body. This is nothing to be ashamed of and the earlier we teach our kids these things, the better humans they may become....or I hope!

Once she is done with her stay...you may consider some outpatient therapy a few days a week to continue with both group and individual sessions. I found the group therapy very helpful because our guards were all down. We didn't have to fake it or pretend all was just fine. That's the best option I can think of at the moment.

[PoppiesAndStripes23]

Thank you for taking the time to share. Several things you commented on are really resonating with me. I do believe she is safe...and I think she is safer there than at home right now, so that's a critical thing to realize. I am hoping that maybe we could see a turn around soon? I attended a parent to parent group session, and some of these thoughts were echoed by that group. As for my other child, I'm definitely including him in these conversations so he can see our thought processes, but also offer his ideas since he and his sister share some of the same issues. I have tried to remind him that while we are currently in crisis mode with his sister, we aren't forgetting that he is still struggling with many of the same issues. We've encouraged him to speak to his counselor about his feelings in this situation...and will continue to show him that the lines of communication are open and that we are actively checking in with him. Appreciate your kindness. Thank you!