Too many seemingly Happy People here

I'm having a pretty rough time with that. aren't there ANY people out there who are utterly miserable and live completely hopeless, failed, useless, dreamless lives? geezz...it's enough ta make a feller feel like the lone bloody ranger. . Hi Ho Silver and so forth.......

[b1b1b1]

You are NOT alone. It does seem like sometimes there is a lot of happy chatter, but pretty much everybody (including those involved in the happy chatter) do have real, serious problems with anxiety and depression. Just keep posting and reading and you will see that there are many who feel like you do. x

[Hidden in reply to b1b1b1]

Thanks b1b1b1. I expect you're right. I must say, I really do at least try to include a smidge of gallows humor along with my unadulterated misery. Thanks for the nice comment

[012703060610 in reply to Hidden]

And I like your humor!

[Tara52]

You should have met me 5 years ago after my lontime boyfriend committed suicide. I couldn't leave the house for 2 years. Slowly healing from PTSD and years of depression before that. Isn't it a good thing to be slowly healing.? I am not where I want to be but I have hope. It takes work though and help from others.💗

[lovemydoggy]

You’re not alone. You’ll find you’re in good company. Just hang around. BTW I do love gallows humor.

[Hidden in reply to lovemydoggy]

Thanks loveyourdoggy I'm hanging. Honestly, there are a lot of very nice people here. I guess I really am not the only one who is struggling.

[lovemydoggy in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely not my friend. It’s a bumpy journey. I actually haven’t been here in a while, but joined in 2018. I just started engaging with people here again because I got an email saying I’d been reported for violating terms of conduct! Yet, I haven’t been on for a long time. I posted about it because they only referred me back to the terms of conduct with no further explanation. I got a lot of replies. Some from people who’ve been here a long time I remember from before. Just engaging with others picked up my mood. So I’m back again. Glad you’re staying around. 😀

[AltaChan]

I've been lost in life since my fiancee married someone else in the mid 2000's. My cultural practices are illegal to the tune of $150000.

[Hidden in reply to AltaChan]

Mid 2000's? roughly 2010 give or take? wow.......that's about the last time I had sex. any sex. plant, animal, or mineral, nada. well, that's when I stopped counting, so it could be longer.........So, these cultural practices to the tune of $150 Large, care to elaborate?

[AltaChan in reply to Hidden]

Sorry for the delay. I haven't been feeling motivated to do anything. more like 2004-2005. I don't care to elaorate so I'll let John Lame Deer do it, "If a man was so poor that he had no horse, tipi or blanket, someone gave him these things. We were too uncivilized to set much value on personal belongings. We wanted to have things only in order to give them away." Fore more details see: Thomas Jefferson to Isaac McPherson 13 Aug. 1813

[LilyAnnepuppy]

It’s a balancing act to pour out our miseries and remain hopeful at the same time. If all we had was misery, where’s the sense in that. We give each other solutions to our depression and anxiety. One of those tools is laughter and community support. But if that’s all it is, then that’s not good either. We need to know we’re not alone with our struggles.

Keep coming back. And make discerning choices regarding which posts to read. .

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

LilyAnnepuppy said "It’s a balancing act to pour out our miseries and remain hopeful at the same time. If all we had was misery, where’s the sense in that" good question, where IS the sense in that? balancing act sounds good enough. but, it seems like the misery side is tipping the scales, maybe even with a big fat thumb on said misery side of yon scale

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

more misery than hopefulness. refer to my post to AltaChan. I wasn't joking about my sex life vanishing. Sadly, that was NOT attempted comedy. and at my age, it's more horrible by the day. How long before I should logically abandon all hope completely and forever and move on from there? feels like Yesterday afternoon was a good time to abandon all hope, and just start looking for discussion forums for celibate people, and how and why they got that way. by choice? maybe some. I find that hard to swallow, but that DOES sound judgmental on my part. anyway, I enjoyed your post. I have enjoyed everyone's posts. I hope everybody realizes that. it seems too hard to reply to everyone, or to read everything on the whole forum. in closing, this is a lousy morning. why? it just is. sorry about that.

[Boston001 in reply to Hidden]

I really can relate to feelings of love life that have dried up. And I would wager that many, many men here are shaking their heads in agreement but we come from a generation of men who don't open up and talk about those feelings. And if we did, I would also be willing to wage that there are many, many women in here that are victims of abuse that would be triggered by frank conversations by men. Unfortunately, the men's health forums in HU are only talking about dysfunction related to medical issues. So there we are. The Lone Ranger isn't alone but our boots are not allowed in the house.

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

32 years celibate for me, since my husband suicided, leaving me to bring up two children solo.

I've made it through, still with most of my marbles, although disabled. Gotta find the sense of humour, even if you have to excavate a huge hole to do it!

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Thanks Midori! 32 years with no nookie eh? If this is too personal, please don't answer. ok? But have you given up on Nookie pretty much? It's likely that it is highly over rated anyway, so what the hell. I truly hope you are not unduly disabled. Some people are, it seems. Truly, they are braver souls than I'll ever be. I'm healthy as a horse, almost as smart as one, am still handsome, and have a trim waist line. and STILL no nookie. and I'm completely miserable. My theory is as follows. I did not "give up on sex" so much as sex has given up on me. Time to take a hint perhaps? and I must go and dig that hole you referred to

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

At the ripe old age of 75, I think my best years have passed me by!🤣🤣

[lovemydoggy in reply to Midori]

You never know. 🤣

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Mine too, Midori

[lovemydoggy in reply to Hidden]

If you are located in the US have you checked out MeetUps? I think they exist all over. Something similar is probably in the UK though others would know more. MeetUps is an umbrella term for groups of people with similar interests to get together. Might be a trivia group, a walking group, meditation, art, dance, singles, etc.

[Hidden in reply to lovemydoggy]

it's a nice thought doggy Thanks. I'm familiar with meetup. I may give that a try again. and again, thanks. it is a nice thought on your part. it might actually be ok, if I choose and join a group that is into something I would like. and I might meet some women folk.......or not...........but also maybe! good idea

[Boston001]

I think the key phrase in your question is "Seemingly" I have been watching and participating in the A&D Support group for about 3 months now and it's clear we all have an "utterly miserable" backstory and continue the daily struggle. But if you watch the cast of charters, there are only a few people who are spreading the Sunshine. I think this is a good thing that they are here trying to cheer us and (themselves) up. They add a sense of community, where we don't feel alone and isolated. Small talk gives us a break from feeling broken all the time and trapped in our own heads. These posts are more active than the other threads and stay at the top of the feed, but if you scroll down you will find plenty of posts that have only a few or no comments. that's where you will find the despair you are seeking.

[catsrock]

For me, it depends on the day. I have good and bad ones. Last Saturday - horrible, suicidal ideation, the whole thing. Today, ok so far, but we'll see. Sleep really affects how my day is and I have horrible insomnia issues.

[Trainchaser in reply to catsrock]

Sounds a lot like me. The ups and downs kill me

[Midori in reply to catsrock]

I am weather affected, a grim and grimy day really puts me in a down mood. But I soon feel better when the suns shines! (As long as it's not too hot!)

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Hey Sweetie! Got a gloomy day there, do ya? I kinda hate that my own self. How's the forecast for the weekend? is it a big city you live in? or a smaller town? Hang in there, Midori. the sun will shine soon enough. and even if it's hot, just sit in the shade

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

Advantages of living in an ever changing climate, the 15 minute season change!🤣 can never be down too long!

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

LOL! 15 minutes? y'all got us out here in Phoenix beat all ta heck. speaking of Phoenix, I was born here. But I still can't remember what the weather was like last year, or the year before. judging by this last winter, and then springtime (spring is officially over in Phoenix by the way) I'd say we have at least a 24 hour climate change pattern. winter and spring I mean. we had some stunningly gorgeous days thru the winter and spring. one day would be like Hawaii, next day, cold and windy, rainy, and not much fun. at least we do have consistent summer weather. from the last week of April until the first half of November, it's summer. and bloody hot. too hot for some folk. I can stand it, but I have to be in the shade. it's the ultraviolet I can't stand, literally. the pizza oven heat is pretty much eh...........like, oh well, what a surprise, right? 15 minute seasons sound refreshing to me

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

Yep, I think AZ would be too hot for me. I could only just cope with CT weather!

Cheers, Midori

[RupertBrown]

I have definitely felt like this a few times. Sometimes I feel like I don't have it bad enough to be here as well. What I do know, and what is consistent, is that every time I've needed help or reached out my hand, I found a hand waiting for me. And that has made a big difference. There are plenty of times I write "happier" than I'm feeling. I chalk it up to wishful thinking lol. Hope you find the comfort and the answers you're looking for. I'm sending courage and peace until you do.

[Hidden in reply to RupertBrown]

>>What I do know, and what is consistent, is that every time I've needed help or reached out my hand, I found a hand waiting for me<< Me too Rupert. Thanks

[Hidden in reply to RupertBrown]

Oh, and thank you for the sending of courage and peace. Peace, I could do with. a lot more than I have. maybe more courage too. Life sucks. but what ya gonna do, right?

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

All we can do sometimes is put one foot in front of the other, like my old man used to tell me, and keep marching. (He was a military guy) Some days are worse than others. I guess the trick is to not beat ourselves up too much on the bad days. Easier said than done, believe me I know.

[Midori in reply to RupertBrown]

That's what we are here for, Rupert; to support each other when we are feeling low.

Cheers, Midori

[Midori]

Welcome to the Community!

Believe it or not, we have all been where you are, but we have helped each other out over weeks, months and sometimes years.

It's good to have a community like this, it helps us all to feel better about ourselves, and in turn help others.

Dive in and join us!

Cheers, Midori

[tiblo]

yes i do i live with bad anxiety every day i have had it for 17yrs all i think of is why dont this go i have been to hell and back with this i have no life it makes me feel so ill all the time hope you better soon regards

[emmi331]

Bill, I can tell one thing you have going for you is a sense of humor! Even if it's the gallows kind, you've still got it. And that's a gift, believe it or not. I can see it shining through your posts even though times are tough. Hang onto it; my humor, even the grim humor, got me through some bad times.It reminded me that yes, I'm still ME and I am worthwhile. And so are you, Bill.

[Hidden in reply to emmi331]

Emmi, I'm glad you find it amusing. I can name at least 3 people in the world who hate my sense of humor. my 2 bros, and my sis. oh well, there's 2 words for them 3. and they aint "let's dance"

[Trainchaser]

I have had a rough month. Was on the dark side for a few days. Very anxious from sources known and unknown. Was taken off of three medications a bit ago wonder if I am withdrawing. Meet with my counselor online tonight see what happens. My PCP handles my paycheck medications. I trust him

[Hidden in reply to Trainchaser]

>>I have had a rough month. Was on the dark side for a few days. Very anxious from sources known and unknown. Was taken off of three medications a bit ago wonder if I am withdrawing<<

sounds pretty likely, yes.

>>Meet with my counselor online tonight see what happens. My PCP handles my paycheck medications. I trust him<<

paycheck medications?

[Trainchaser in reply to Hidden]

Psychotropic medicine

[Hidden]

Oh, ok.