I'm having a tough day keeping it together. My uncle killed himself on Friday. Also, today is the anniversary of a friend's death who also killed himself. Plus, in just a few days it's the 4th year anniversary of when I was raped.
Feels like my chest is closing in on itself. And I keep thinking about all the times that I've been suicidal and how complex this is making me feel. idk. Need a hug or something.
Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ can you be around friends or family today?
I'm sorry for your recent loss. Know that you are a warrior in spirit and in heart. You will get through this. You have the help of the forum behind you.
Sending you a hug to let you know you're safe.
You are never alone, you are loved by us. xx
Huge big cuddly hugs for my darling. I hope they help. No wonder you are feeling so lousy so just take it easy until you start feeling a bit better.
I hate June. My mum had her 90th birthday, 2 weeks later she died, then the funeral at the end of the month. Also it's fathers day too and he died 10 years ago. Every anniversary is hard and doesn't get any easier.
I am so sorry about your poor uncle as he must have been in a bad state to do something like this. It's common for those left to feel guilty/confused/devastated etc. and think they should somehow have known or been able to do something, but the sad truth is we can't. If someone is going to do that then they will.
More lovely big hugs sweetheart. xxx
Thanks hypercat. Do you do anything specifically to get through June?
I just try and keep too busy to think about it much. It works a bit. I sometimes also make a special effort to see family on those days. x
stay strong.. this too shall pass. every storm subsides even if it may seem rocky right now. my uncle passed away last week.. i can relate to how you feel with that. it's never fun losing anyone you're close to. you're in my thoughts 
Oh, honey, that is a lot to handle right now and of course it is reminding you of your own suicidal thoughts. I hope you can see clearly that you are going to feel crummy for a short time and even though you are remembering your saddest days, it certainly isn't a good time for making any kind of decisions. Focus on getting through. Let yourself feel crummy for a bit, then hopefully life will fill you again and you can have some delight in life. I love to be around plants and walking around gardens or nurseries helps me heal. Bright colors remind me there are beautiful things to delight my eyes and lift my spirits. I follow some artists that use a lot of color on Instagram to give me a punch of color everyday.
How can I get better?
Too many thoughts
How do I do it?
How many people fear the night?
Too many tears 