My son's physical health

[Amanba]

My son has lost a lot of body muscle through lack of use in the past and lack of exercise in the present. He looks thin but he eats plenty. My friend yesterday was ramping down my throat that he looked awful and I needed to get him seen by the doctor and referred to the Eating Disorder Team. (I am very familiar with EDT having taken my daughter there plenty of times in recent years. She has now been discharged but my life is incredibly full 😭 and doesn't need another commitment ) .

He sleeps a lot but apart from not liking dairy he eats plenty, when he is awake enough to. He especially likes fast food which has heaps of calories. He also has an aversion to going out unless he initiates it.

Am I neglecting him? He is 22.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Unfortunately by the time my daughter was 22, she was responsible for her actions. Choices have prices.

But I know the feeling of parental guilt. And the continued feeling that somehow I was responsible for her choices (and consequences).

Letting go is tough. All I could do was continue to communicate with her about what I saw. A lot of the time she didn’t want to hear it. And a lot of the time, I had to mind my own business.

It’s rough. And I feel for you

[Amanba in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you you have summed up how I feel.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Amanba]

You’re not alone.

[b1b1b1]

I think your son needs some help - a visit to a doctor and/or psychiatrist. He does not sound like he is living a good life for a 22 year old. My feeling is that one's children always need a parents help if they are having problems that the parent is able to assist with regardless of the offspring's age.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to b1b1b1]

As long as they agree to that help. The problem in my case was that she did not want (or think she needed) help. And that’s really a helpless place for a parent to be.

[b1b1b1 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yes, I agree. You were in a tough place, but you really did your best. I am not trying to be critical, but I think the original poster might try to do a little more to help her son. She says she doesn't need another commitment, but I think other commitments have to fall by the wayside if a son or daughter (or husband) needs help. x

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to b1b1b1]

I’m sure there’s more to the story than neither of us know.

[b1b1b1 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yes, you are probably right. I hope Amanda and her son can find a way.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to b1b1b1]

Me, too.

[Amanba]

There is more to it, and more in my life than I cannot drop, all involving support for my husband and children. I am also renovating our family home. I do appreciate your advice and will speak to the doctor re dietician, and also to my son, pray he comes on board with me. This will happen after the holiday which is coming up soon.

[Midori]

Probably a good idea to get him seen by a doctor.

There could be many causes, such as diabetes,as you say he has become thin although he eats like a horse.

Another possibility is that he has lost muscle tone through inaction, both (as well as other possibilities) need investigation.

Cheers, Midori