HI! It has been a long time.

[oleander_eri]

I don’t remember when was the last time posted here but hey! I came back to vent lol.

I went to a psychiatrist and turned out that I am a combo of whole ass mental illness, stuff like: ADHD, severe depression, anxiety, BPD and PTSD… luckily I was treated with meds and went to rehab.

Now… I kind lost a lot of stuff, I had a lot of friends who were fake and mostly I just cut a lot of people out my life because well, it’s hard being “not normal”; also, last October I had the worst day ever… my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and well… I have been crying my eyes out because it’s just a lot.

And lastly, I am trying to gain money from my art things but hahah I just suck at selling so I am trying to search places where I can sell my things, I hope if someone or anything tbh read this.. help me please, I honestly wish I was dead, I feel so lonely, tired and useless… I have been working my ass off all my life and always for some reason fail or just suck at it haha.

Life can be harsh for neurodivergent people and most of us has to fight the world alone and mostly misunderstood.

[Dolphin14]

It's good to see you. I'm sorry you are going through so much.

I'm very sorry to read about your dad. This is so emotional and very difficult to deal with

It sounds like you made good progress with your mental health and finding some stability. Please don't consider yourself " not normal" We are dealing with something different that is often misunderstood by people around us. It doesn't make us " less than" You are very strong to have worked through your pain, received proper diagnosis, and followed through with your treatment.

We are here for you. You are not alone

🐬

[oleander_eri in reply to Dolphin14]

thank you! Yeah, it’s been a lot. Honestly I can say I am doing better than last 4 years but the illness from my father kinda threw it all, my family is dysfunctional af and don’t get me started with the families of my parents haha, geez everyone should go to therapy.

Even tho I try my best at a lot of stuff, I feel like I don’t exist or have importance and I have been thinking about taking my own life… but i can’t because it would hurt my loved ones more.

[Dolphin14 in reply to oleander_eri]

Your dad's illness has a huge impact on balance. I'm so sorry. My sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer about a years after I started my mental health struggle. My therapist was such a source of strength for me.

Please keep working on your health. Good things will come if you keep pushing. You will gain a sense of self worth, it will get easier to block out these negative people and you will gain more coping skills to get through the difficult times

Sending you positive vibes and peace. We all deserve peace