So we can control it.
We create it.: So we can control it. - Anxiety and Depre...
We create it.
Written by
gerrerd
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65 Replies
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Hmm last sentence makes me a bit uneasy - surely we cannot expect individuals to change just by thinking differently(more favourably?)about them??
No we change! And this causes them to change!
erm not quite sure how this works - surely if they were very set in their ways (or downright mean) they wouldn’t change just like that??
Its complex but everything we look at is affected by us! But dont worry about other people just concentrate on yourself. When we change the way we look at things they begin to change or we perceive them differently! Dont dwell on it took me years to understand it.
in reply to primrose81
hi primrose81,
I took it to mean that if we can change our perspective (how we see/think/view the world, and other ppl) we will change, therefore we will see others through a different lens.
At least that’s what I think it meant. 😀
We can't cause anyone to change. We only have control over ourselves.
What we can do is learn to set boundaries with people. Let them know where we stand. Some may make adjustments for that and some may exit our lives. That is not changing them at the core though, It still reverts back to the fact that no one has control over anyone else but themselves
❤️🐬
Exactly, we have no control over people, places, or things.... If someone is a jerk, then they are just a jerk... we have no control over that... and nor do we need to waste any brain cells on them... let them be who they want to be, as long as they leave others be.
There is a familiar them going on. Bandwagon and on come to mind!
If we are all one, you are them and they are you. We are frequency and energy, so our frequency and energy affects theirs ! Its like a animal is tuned into this they know a good person from a bad! We may not change them around others but if we raise our vibration it can change them in our presence! Study Bruce Liptons work about these things.
Ray
I wish we could have a discussion without exclamation marks. I would really like to discuss this. I think it would be a great topic to sort of pick each others brains..... I mean that in a good way not hostile.
I'm hesitant to say anything though.
Thank you for responding. I respect your thoughts and I hope you respect mine
🐬
Ok but sometimes I do feel under attack by one or two people.
Ray
I've felt attacked in the past also. Opinions should not be attacked it makes no sense. I responded to primrose because that's what I know to be true regarding people changing
You have another thought I would like to explore it but not argumentatively. Perhaps in the future we could do that.
Yes I dont argue, but One or two people like to comment on my posts negatively. And dont say anything about the good one,s. If I get Questions on the posts I try to explain them as how I see it. Ray
I'm just suggesting maybe more of a friendly debate approach. We all come here with different experiences and we have had different paths to success with our issues. Your posts can bring up two different thought processes. Maybe if they could be discussed with open minds more good could come of them for the entire community.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results... when a conversation is one sided, your just chasing your tail. As much as your intentions are good, someone is always going to find fault, and some don't find fault in anything they say or do, only find fault in others that don't agree with them. And some do things just to stir the pot or gain sympathy or attention for themselves with click bait. It's not worth the effort if your trying to make sense of something that you never can make sense of.
Your a good person, don't let anyone drag you down... always consider the source.
The post is not my opinion I shared it for others to make of it as they will. But I do think people think its my thoughts on things. No I take what I think is true in them and then share. And then I have to defend the author when I dont know their intention in the posts. Ray
I understand that. My assumption is your response to me is your opinion? How you look at things? Or am I reading wrong
Yes I may be wrong I dont know! I do loads of research on these things my thoughts can change as I get more understanding. Its like trying to explain quantum physics not easy.
I'm not saying you are wrong. It's actually a whole other Avenue that I haven't looked at. So it peaked my curiosity.
I agree some of what we are learning is heavy stuff and can take time to really iron it out.
I'm not attacking you Ray. I was interested in what you were saying
Thanks for understanding. But if I tell people about the things Ive learned they would think I have gone mad.
in reply to gerrerd
This is really good to know, gerrerd. Because I thought it was always your opinion. Might I make a suggestion, then? For the things you post that you don't agree with, could you say so in the post. You can do the same for the ones you do agree with. What do you think?
in reply to Dolphin14
i hate ! marks and never use them i find them confusing and often wonder why someone has put one or worst still loads on !!!!!🤷😁
Dolphin14 in reply to
I find them confusing. It means anger, excitement or joy when used in text form.
I was taught not to use them because they can be misinterpreted. Caps and ! As anger.
It all has to be taken into context though. Like oh Pixie is so cute today!! You know I'm not angry
Within a conversation where two people are disagreeing on something I would interpret the ! as anger.
It's food for thought
❤️🐬
in reply to Dolphin14
yes i just dont think there necessary thanks for explaining, i bet a lot of people dont know how to use them 💛🌟🐆hes asleep peace at last!!😁think i did it right never again tho lol
in reply to
Ok, you guys, I’m very guilty of using exclamation marks but will try to tone it down. I’ve never been a SM person and do much better in person than through written words. It’s never about conveying anger for me. Actually just the opposite. If I’m angry I never use explanation marks. For me, they are conveying my joy in talking to someone or agreeing with their point. I’m a socially expressive person and that’s hard to translate into writing. Guess it doesn’t really matter. Will tone down the !!! marks.
in reply to
bless you theres no need i wouldnt take them offensive if from you 😁i might do a post on them 🤷😂!!😁
in reply to
Holy crap, don’t do that. I’ll be banned from HU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😩
in reply to
I have the same problem with emojis. There’s never one that quite fits my mood or what I’m trying to convey. I don’t like the selections I have to choose from. Boy, I’m really complaining about everything now. 
in reply to
i dont understand some of them that i have 🤷hey my glass dream i read also indicates transformation
in reply to
Transformation makes sense after your post about aging and meaning of life. Maybe there are changes coming your way, hope they are exciting ones. 🥰
I use them to maybe underline a point or maybe its important. Ray.
in reply to Dolphin14
what explanation mark does the ss balloon image require !!🤔😂not so cute as pixie so dont know more shock horror😂
in reply to gerrerd
hi gerrerd, I agree. Perception is everything. It’s about stepping out of ourselves (and trying to put ourselves into the minds and motives of others) that we understand where they are coming from as well as seeing things from a different vantage point. This has so many advantages since we get stuck in our shallow focus of the world and our own internal being. Stepping out of our default perspective enriches our lives in many ways and allows us to see others, maybe even those we thought we disliked, from a more realistic, non bias point of view. I like your animal analogy. If an animal dislikes or fears us, it’s only because it is receiving and perceiving what we are putting out for them to see/feel. We change our perception of that animal, and it will feel the vibes that we are good, or at least not coming from a place of fear, anger, etc. As you can see. I love talking about shifting perspectives and believe it plays a huge part in one’s mental health and growth. Thanks for allowing me to elaborate on one of my favorite topics. Who else loves talking about perspective except me? I know, I’m a weirdo.😀
gerrerd in reply to
No special !
in reply to gerrerd
Why thank you! I love philosophy and deep thinking which is why I read your posts b4 I even start my day. If something were to happen to you, I hope you have a backup plan, as my days would not be right without your thought proving posts, lol! YOU are my favorite part of HU. ❤️🙏
gerrerd in reply to
Thank you 💖
in reply to
I love talking about perspective as well! I believe it's good and healthy to be open-minded about things. It's not always easy, but if it were easy everyone would do it! I believe that it is a sign of maturity.
yours truly,
fellow weirdo😀
in reply to
Love hearing this Norw. Blessings to you my fellow Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Perspective, Fellow Weirdo friend. 😀❤️
in reply to
Ha! Love it!😂
in reply to primrose81
Hi all! I'm going to jump on in here if I may. My take on this is that if we start seeing the person for who they are, then we start to perceive them differently. What do you guys think? I'll use my situation as an example: Last year was a bad year for me. I won't go into details, but the gist is I had been getting amazing support for myself in my grief from someone who ended up being a narcissist and having their own under-handed agenda. As I've read, narcissists are...well, a different "breed", but for argument's sake let's just say that they do not change (nor do they think they need to change). As Gerrerd states in a comment, it doesn't matter whether they change or not. What matters is that, over time, we change. For me, this change looks like the following: shielding myself from further contact with them, reading up about narcissism so that I can recognize the signs for future reference, and setting boundaries for myself and staying true to those.
Now, what did I just say? Because I haven't a clue.
in reply to
I understand you completely. You can walk outside to a cloudy dreary day and think “oh god, this sucks” or you can walk out to that same cloudy dreary day and say “wow, this breeze feels nice, the flowers are blooming, etc.”. Some might call it positively but it’s just a shift in your perception. You can change your perspective and not see things in a positive way. Re: people, in simple terms it’s like walking in someone else’s shoes. You gain a better insight of them if you can put yourself in their shoes. Understand their motivations, motives, why they think/act the way they do. This in turn feeds your own soul with wisdom and understanding and allows you a better understanding of the world, the people around you, and most importantly, yourself, therefore you no longer need to hold such hostility, uncertainty, fear, anger, etc towards others. I don’t mean to sound like it’s just about being positive and understanding because it’s much more than that. It’s looking at the world through someone else’s glasses and giving you a different point of view, in every way, which will benefit you.
Ok Norw, now I’ve completely gone overboard on perspective, again. It’s just such a simple concept for me. Not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone else. It’s a concept I have studied for a long time and believe it has such great benefits to us.
I’m sure gerrerd is sorry for even posting this now. Had he known how much I love this subject I’m quite sure he would’ve never subjected himself to all of this.
The End (I promise)
gerrerd in reply to
No I like the interaction now. we need more of it, helps to get to know each other better. And build bonds with each other.💖
in reply to gerrerd
Exactly, and everyone’s perspective shits a bit, lol! Thank u 🙏
in reply to
You've got it! By gaining another perspective (and boy did I sure gain an interesting one...), I am expanding my knowledge which helps me grow.
I do believe we can change how we feel by thinking in a more positive or learning way on most any event.So that alone would change a person's perspective I think?
gerrerd in reply to
true.
It is a spiritual axiom that when I’m disturbed, no matter what the cause, there’s something wrong with me. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t wrong. It just means I have a percentage in the interaction and I’m better served if I look at my part.
in reply to LilyAnnepuppy
I can't tell if your miffed here or not. Can you explain?
(Hi, btw)
LilyAnnepuppy in reply to
No I’m not miffed. I was just adding my two cents to the conversation. Which I take to be about personal responsibility.
in reply to LilyAnnepuppy
Oh, ok. Wasn't sure. Thanks.😊
Thanks, Ray
Gosh this has turned into an amazing thread with all these fascinating posts….now I must really work on new perspectives…thank you Ray for kickstarting this and to all those who explained better than I could what it all meant xx
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